Jesus

A sexy son of a bitch that gets all the bitches

I wish I was like Jesus

by Don'tWorryAboutMe June 19, 2016

Jesus

The savior of the christian people. Christians believe he is the son of god and the messiah. They also believe he died for man kinds sins against each other. No real proof exists that he ever lived. That, like every religion, does not stop people from following in the way of jesus.

Jesus was crucified, man that must of sucked.

by Oz March 19, 2005

jesus

that guy responsible for stubbing your toe

ex. "Jesus"

by Chrissy Teagen February 25, 2019

Jesus

It's a really cute,smart guy.He will steal your heart the first day ya meet. Loves to go outside and play. Will always protect you from any dangerous person. He really loyal and kind💍.

Omg did u see"Jesus" he so cute
I wish "Jesus " was my boyfriend.

by Sháwty101 October 17, 2017

Jesus

The most amazing person who ever walked on the face of the earth. He died for our sins because the wages of sins is death but the gift of God is eternal life.

Little Girl: Dear Jesus, please forgive me for hitting billy with my lunchbox today.
Jesus: I forgive you. I already paid for your sins with my perfect blood

by Jazzi021 December 3, 2006

jesus

1.an explanation of emense anger or angrivation or pleasure

2.John Lennon

*JESUS!

*"all we are saying is give peace a chance"

by Argentina Funkehouser February 2, 2008

Jesus

He wasn't as famous as the Beatles.
He could walk on water, which could explain why He was a fisherman.
He was also a carpenter, but came to have a dislike for nails.
His mom was knocked up by God.
He made the cross popular, which is good because you need one to chase off vampires.
Last name is Christ.
Santa Claus invented a holiday about him, so that he could sell trees and sneak into peoples houses.

Tom: "Oh shit"!
Dick: "What the Fu....."
Harry: "Jesus Christ"!
Jesus: "Hey mister! Can I mow your lawn"?

by morningwould January 4, 2013