Masturbation Proclamation

Law of the land giving any person the ability to claim any object on which they masturbates onto as long as that is not already claimed.

"I now own this due to the essential rights given to me by the Masturbation Proclamation"

by Christmas cruises October 5, 2017

Masturbation

It's the practicing sexual pleasure on one's self it's completely normal but don't tell my parents I do it

Guy to his girlfriend: yes honey I do masturbation but
Girlfriend: I'm gonna stop you there explain
Guy to his girlfriend: it's to photos of you

Girlfriend: awwww I'm creeped out but it's also a bit sweet

by Thedefinitionwriter11156 June 3, 2021

Velvety Masturbation

When one masturbates so often, the skin on his penis has taken on a velvety texture.

Jane - "Why does you cock feel like my curtains?"

Dane - "Lets just say its been a while, Im a victim of velvety masturbation."

by The Masturbation Don October 10, 2010

electronic masturbation

The process of getting an alert on your electronic device (computer) and being required to do the same meaningless action over and over again with no real progress or additional improvement.

I had to stop and put my initials in this screen everytime I use this program. It serves no purpose. It is like electronic masturbation. It does me no good!

by Dallas's Widget March 5, 2011

Information Masturbation

The instant gratification or satisfaction gained from obtaining information off of the interwebs. This information is rarely retained.

Burnt out from information masturbation due to ever-present smartphones, the 21st century man is doomed.

by wobblewarble December 22, 2012

Manic Masturbation March

The March equivalent of Destroy Dick December. Also known as the manic masturbation month, Destroy Dick December can be stimulation from a variety of ways, but Manic Masturbation March must just be you, your hand and your trusty icognito tab.

Oh, thank god Fuck Fapping February is finally over! I've been looking forward to some quality time in Manic Masturbation March.

by The man dan with a plan December 2, 2018

mega march masturbation mayhem

Mega March Masturbation Mayhem is an exciting sport for men to play to show who can nut the most. Fill a bracket with 32 men who's ready to play head-to-head. Each player has 24 hours to nut more times than their opponent to move on to the next round. Keep winning to be crowned champion of Mega March Masturbation Mayhem.

Dude are you ready to start Mega March Masturbation Mayhem?

by MasterDebater159 March 20, 2020