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a nigel danger wank

Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 6, 2025
mugGet the a nigel danger wankmug.

whizz wank

Where you wank at an extremely fast speed
'im just off for a whizz wank, im done :D'
by ninjaabill December 21, 2009
mugGet the whizz wankmug.

Wank Tag

The act of cumming on to a polaroid picture of a femail
Duuuude I totally wank Tagged Jessica last night.
by Plasma Sonico Boom May 17, 2020
mugGet the Wank Tagmug.

Irish wank

Placing one's penis inside a cooked and hollowed out potato. The potato is Ireland's biggest crop, and due to a shortage of eligible women in rural locations, men have taken to placing their erect penises inside potatoes in order to release the inevitable sexual frustration arising from such a situation.
Seamus hasn't had a girlfriend in 20 years. Now he spends most evenings engaging in an Irish wank.
by IrishGypsyDan April 21, 2018
mugGet the Irish wankmug.

Mind Wank

A telepathic wank using your mind. BUT YOU AINT THINKING ABOUT THE HOMIES
luke was thinking of Sam's toes so much that he needed to have a mind wank. But he is a homie...
by ProfessorMindWank November 17, 2020
mugGet the Mind Wankmug.

EW (Executive wank)

Knocking one off at work on company time and hence being paid to do so.
Haven’t seen Ro at his desk for a while, he must have ducked off for an EW (Executive Wank) after we had that chat about boobs
by Executive Shitter May 20, 2025
mugGet the EW (Executive wank)mug.

Halloween wank

The spooky scary sticky substance that is in preparation for the worst month of your life
Chad 1: yo, how was your Halloween wank bro?

Chad 2: DONT SAY THE 'W' WORD TILL DECEMBER OR SANTA WILL BITE OFF YOUR COCK
by 3SGZ_OLLIE_C_1 October 31, 2020
mugGet the Halloween wankmug.

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