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two handed turtle

when someone gives a guy a handjob with one hand and catches his shit with the other as its coming out of his ass.
David: Hey man! Little Red gave me a two handed turtle last night.
by muleymomma May 19, 2014
mugGet the two handed turtlemug.

Bacon Turtle

A Turtle, usually a King Turtle of the Royal Turtle Guard. Also a word for assorted meats shaped like a turtle.

A Bacon Turtle loves bacon and spreads the word and belief of Bacon. Bacon Turtles and Turtles alike are enemies of the Panda Army and the Penguin Union. The King Bacon Turtle was defeated at The Puffin-Koala Gap by the Pan-da Warriors in PANDA 7 (Panda Years), and he later retreated to plot an all-out war on the Panda Army. The Bacon Turtle and his Royal Turtle Guard is no match for the Elite Pan-da Warriors.

The Bacon Turtle began at a humble little wood building on the corner of a busy street, titled: Bacon Turtle & Associates. They sold chocolate-covered bacon and bacon shaped like turtles. Since then, they have grown into a legitomato army. The Bacon Turtle and his associates are the exclusive members of the I Don't Care Club. The Turtle Motto is "Viva la Bacon, TGIF" (Long Live Bacon, Thank God It's Friday).
Bacon Turtle: Kneel before your almighty ruler, the Bacon Turtle!
Panda: No.
Bacon Turtle: Then you will face a life of bacon deprivation. Take him away, Royal Turtle Guard!
Panda: Is this some sort of torture, because I'm not addicted to bacon...
Bacon Turtle: Are you insulting my religion? Do you wish to say that you are against bacon? You will be locked in a room with bacon!
Panda: Free bacon is fine with me...

Epic Meal Time: We're cooking up some BACON, AND TURTLES! THAT MEANS BACON TURTLES!
by Panda Army Representative January 16, 2014
mugGet the Bacon Turtlemug.

snake eyed turtle fuck

used as an insult meaning inbred or cluster fuck, all aroud multi use word
by eyed turtle March 27, 2021
mugGet the snake eyed turtle fuckmug.

Turtle Lei

this is a correction of grammer and name for the one that was posted before this one

Turtle Lei stands for short, small eyes, gamer raging trash player at almost any game he plays
random dude: headshots with AK in a perfectly normal way that does not require an explaination to know how he headshoted him
turtle lei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HACKER IMA GO REPORT THIS MF
mugGet the Turtle Leimug.

Land turtle

Madelyn is a land turtle not a fish
Omg look at Madelyn she is a land turtle.
by anonymous May 10, 2022
mugGet the Land turtlemug.

Sick turtle

Someone who is slow, (Crippled) and gets sick a lot; because they have a weak immune system.
by Sick turtle September 23, 2016
mugGet the Sick turtlemug.

two dollar turtle sundae

When two individuals otherwise strangers hook up via a Facebook comment feed and agree to meet to get their nuts fudgey.
I never knew why I was on Facebook until my first two dollar turtle sundae.
by Please and thank you November 10, 2017
mugGet the two dollar turtle sundaemug.

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