Keyboard monkey

Somebody working a deskjob in a position that revolves (almost) entirely of entering data into fields, or similar menial tasks that requires little thought or input. These jobs are filling spreadsheets all day or writing for Buzzfeed. Basically somebody that works a job that you could train a monkey to do if a monkey could use a computer.

John: "I work all day, nine-to-five, and it's hard work!"

Jack: "Oh yeah, tell me all about how hard your data input job is, you fucking keyboard monkey."

by FR333KSH0W January 19, 2021

Nard Monkey

Is a male primate who can both eat and possess nards simultaneously.

Andrew: "Ryan you know what you are?"

Ryan: "What?"

Andy: "You're a Nard Monkey"

Ryan: *cries*

by HoloConch January 29, 2021

obese monkey

A hairy fat man who runs around with no shirt and makes autistic screeches

"dude don't be a Obese Monkey"

by jimmy the jizard February 5, 2021

Clam monkey

Term used to refer to a koala with chlamydia.

Look theres a clam monkey in that tree

by Rbharry February 5, 2021

Monkey day

Every day is monkey day on may 🐒

Josh: Hey Todd do you know what day it is?
Todd: yeah it's "monkey day"

by Mr. M0nkey hehe April 27, 2021

Bill Monkey

After a child is snatched from the nursery by William Hogchild Monkey, his replacement is always a monkey human hybrid, or a “Bill Monkey.” Telltale signs include but are not limited to the following; a tail (often removed), a hairy back and chest, grunting when food is served, bowel habits that can suffocate mere mortals, and a proclivity for buggery and the TV show Family Guy. Needless to say, bananas are often his favorite food and a desire to pick pimples and nits from his being.

Hey Greg, there is no inheritance for you because you are a Bill Monkey. Go eat a banana and stick a Dick up your red ass you nitpicking bastard!

by His lordship and mr handsome May 4, 2021

monkey self

When you or someone else acts ridiculous, usually by accident. "Monkey self" meaning yourself, and "monkey ass" meaning someone else.

"BRO my monkey self fell asleep yesterday when I was supposed to meet you guys at the park."

"His monkey ass really just failed to do a backflip during the dance battle, and then let out the loudest fart ever heard by humanity the very second he hit the ground."

by VomitOnMySkirt November 23, 2022