The Albemarle County Theory

The theory that all hot guys in Albemarle County,VA will move,turn gay,realize they are a woman,or get a bad haircut,therefore ruining any hotness they ever had.

Also,this theory includes Alec,who suffers from Can't-Keep it-in-his-pants-itis.Lucky for him,hes pretty hot.Makes up for it.

"Hey,that WAHS boy is pretty hot."
"He realized last week hes a woman."
"Dammit!This proves The Albemarle County Theory."

"Wow,that guy from AHS is cute"
"Hes moving to Nebraska"
"Stupid Albemarle County Theory has to be right every time."

by jooincville April 8, 2009

The Big Wank Theory

A theory that says that the universe, life, and everything in between is the result of God releasing premature ejaculation.

I just explained to my astronomy teacher about The Big Wank Theory and now I am sitting in ISS.

by Pickle Richard October 11, 2019

Levance Fields Theory of the Big East Tournament

Year after year in the Big East mens basketball tournament gamblers frequently are perplexed by the outcomes of the some of the games. A simple theory can be followed to help you handicap the games in the tournament -- pick the team with the most relevant player(s) from New York City. This theory is derived from Levance Fields, a point guard on the Pittsburgh Panthers basketball team who led his team to a Big East Championship in 2008. He grew up in Brooklyn, NY and played at Xaverian High School and hit big shot after big shot to lead Pitt to a Big East Crown.

In 2011, Kemba Walker from the Bronx, New York led Connecticut to a Big East Title by winning 5 games in 5 days. Kemba was the most relevant player in the Big East Tournament and led his team to not only 5 straight victories but also 5 straight wins against the spread thus proving the Levance Fields Theory of the Big East Tournament.

by Unitcrusher6000 March 30, 2011

The Big Bang Theory

The theory that if a woman had sex with an guy who is ok at sex right after having sex with a midget, the sex will be even more amazing with the next normal guy. The big bang theory also has a sub theory that you must divide the seconds of sex by the midget's age and multiply that by two and add the number of the normal guy's age to get the "Fucking Density".

The Big Bang Theory explains the "Fucking Density" which is as follows:

30-midget's age
35-normal dude's age
500-seconds of sex with midget

500/30 x 2 + 35= 68.34

68.34 is the "Fucking Density" in this case.

by TheBestColombianDude October 9, 2009

the flat muffin theory

When a muffin get pressed into the shape of a cookie and you realise that we have been cheated all along. Muffins are just fat cookies.

Mueid: Muffins are not found they are flat.
Boye: We should only sell flat muffins. Same muffin less area.
Claudia: That looks like somebody stepped on shit.
Mueid: But it's very tasty. A flat muffin is just a cookie but soft. That is the flat muffin theory. We have been eating fat cookies all along.

by The flat muffin June 24, 2018

The shutting up theory

Where you ceasing the movement of your lips so no one has to hear your annoying ass.

Kyle: why isn’t Adam talking to me?
Tom: he’s doing the shutting up theory.

by Pickle sauce February 12, 2021

Emily’s theory on the United States Government

Emily’s theory on the United States Government states that if president Biden does not soon realize he is acting like a commie and that the American people are over it he will find himself no longer the president of the United States.

And I said to the president if you do not believe in Emily’s theory on the United States Government then you can test it at your earliest convince.

by Beau Dean November 16, 2021