hurtin' curtains

A medical condition occuring in the labia following a high-speed collision with a solid object. Common catalysts include fences, doorknobs, hockey-pucks, and the wayard high-five. Extreme cases may also encompass the cervix.

Seth: What's wrong with you?
Krysta: That's the last time I play goalie, that slapshot gave me a mean case of hurtin' curtains.
Seth: At least it wasn't as bad as when Erika got hit with that high-five.
Krysta: Thank god, it's been two weeks and she still can't wear jeans.

by Seth and Krysta January 9, 2006

salty beef curtains

Refers to the distended saggy looking labia on an overused and dirty pussy, just hanging there all smelly and salty.

After Jackie got double stuffed by Bobby and Roger, she wadled to the bathroom to rinse the spunk off of her salty beef curtains.

by Jennifiend December 24, 2008

meat curtain

A woman with a dark droopy labia.

See also Roastbeef

"Look at that nasty razor shaved meat curtain under there on that hoe"

by Kertef Corobo January 16, 2003

curtain caller

a condition when the lips of a vagina or labia are so large and loose, that they look as if a performer has just closed the velevet curtains on a classical performance stage after doing a "curtain call."

Jenna Jameson or any other worn out pornstar would most likely have a curtain caller. So give them a round of applause, they've earned it.

by Michael Thomas William Davis November 6, 2007

bologna curtains

Unusually large labia minora. Usually hanging down low so that if a strong breeze blew they would flap around giving off the effect of window curtains.

There is a stripper at The Pony who has bologna curtains so big, she tied them in a knot!

by URASuka June 18, 2009

Meat Curtains

pussy lips

I fucked the lining out of her Meat Curtains last night!

by easy ed December 18, 2002

Curtain Call

Performing cunnilingus (oral sex on a female). Licking the beef curtains or veal drapes.

Fav: Bad news dude.
Dolan: Eh, what?
Fav: Mr. Barclay walked in while I was performing a curtain call on Sarah last nite.
Dolan: I thought you said he was taking his wife out for dinner?!
Fav: He was, only once they ordered he realized he forgot his wallet at home. In he comes while his daughter's legs are over her head and I have a face full of fish flaps. Needless to say, Sarah is grounded and I am 86'ed.
Dolan: No quim for you, one year !

by Fav April 11, 2008