Hym "So... If you DON'T ACTUALLY NEED THEIR REALITY MONSTER... Well... That's nothing a little OPTIMAL PRIVATION WON'T FIX! Then you'll have nowhere else to turn. And if you DON'T? Well, the creature will sort you out after you're dead. So, they need to manufacture it with inaction. People can be quoted saying 'Well, so-and-so could fix world hunger over night' BUT that would get rid of all the privation. No need for Jesus anymore. The church would have no one to feed to justify all of the money they are given. The poor are perpetual money farms so long as you create a perpetual state of privation. Because people are always willing to donate to charity or church. They aren't even expected to spend all of the money ON THE ACTUAL THING FOR WHICH THEY ARE BEING GIVEN THE MONEY. The don't have to show their receipts."
by Hym Iam August 14, 2023
Get the Optimal privation mug.Receiving a promotion in an organization only because there's a sudden "vacancy" that needs to be addressed.
Uncle Joe hooked Andrei Zhdanov up with a Russian promotion to head of Leningrad Oblast after the shocking and completely unexpected assassination of Sergei Kirov.
by anonymous August 31, 2023
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by adamantium_me January 8, 2025
Get the porn promotion mug.by adamantium_me January 8, 2025
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When you're awarded a fancy new title and a fresh pile of responsibilities, but your paycheck doesn’t move an inch. Like a ninja, this promotion slips in silently, sounds impressive, might even look impactful—but remains completely undetectable in your bank account.
Origin:
Rumored to have started among government employees, where budget freezes were common but the need for “recognition” was high. Managers, unable to offer raises, began handing out sleek new titles like “Senior Specialist” or “Lead Coordinator” as stealthy morale boosters. The term “ninja promotion” was coined after someone joked that their new role was like a ninja—deadly serious, highly skilled, and totally invisible on payday.
Often includes:
A new title
More meetings
Higher expectations
No money
A LinkedIn update and a slice of cake
When you're awarded a fancy new title and a fresh pile of responsibilities, but your paycheck doesn’t move an inch. Like a ninja, this promotion slips in silently, sounds impressive, might even look impactful—but remains completely undetectable in your bank account.
Origin:
Rumored to have started among government employees, where budget freezes were common but the need for “recognition” was high. Managers, unable to offer raises, began handing out sleek new titles like “Senior Specialist” or “Lead Coordinator” as stealthy morale boosters. The term “ninja promotion” was coined after someone joked that their new role was like a ninja—deadly serious, highly skilled, and totally invisible on payday.
Often includes:
A new title
More meetings
Higher expectations
No money
A LinkedIn update and a slice of cake
Coworker: “I thought you got promoted?”
You: “Yeah, it was a ninja promotion. Still broke, but at least it sounds cool.”
You: “Yeah, it was a ninja promotion. Still broke, but at least it sounds cool.”
by CorporateNinja March 29, 2025
Get the ninja promotion mug.Select security promotion. This is when you leave an employee due to working conditions, poor treatment, etc and get re-hired down the road as a manager.
A: dude. I finally left that slave farm shithole. I couldn’t take it any more.
B: oh good. In a few months, they’ll re-hire you as a manager and you’ll be treated better because you’re higher on the corporate ladder. That’s a select security promotion.
B: oh good. In a few months, they’ll re-hire you as a manager and you’ll be treated better because you’re higher on the corporate ladder. That’s a select security promotion.
by Vista20p July 14, 2018
Get the select security promotion mug.that thing Alex Brightman does to make the beedlejuice voice
and you cant seem to find how he dose it on the internet
God help me please
and you cant seem to find how he dose it on the internet
God help me please
alex can use vanticular fold phonation and go from really the sweetest man in the world to really scary dead guy
by fierysnowflakes October 11, 2019
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