97 year old pedophile who stalks underage girls while they sleep, not to mention the cannibalistic fetish of suckin their blood out from a fresh wound.
by thisisit December 28, 2008
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Here are the massive flaws of the vampire, Edward, in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. And yes. I hate the book. Completely stupid thing to fill your minds up with.
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
Me: "I think the books are addicting, but lacking alot. For example, look at Edward!! Completely boring. I perfer Carlisle to Eddy.
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
by classicalmusicgurl December 23, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.When a girl duct tapes each of her hands to a different man's penis, and cannot untape them until she has made each man ejaculate.
Girl: Patrick and Stanley wanted me to Edward Penishands them last night, but my left hand got tired and I was stuck with Patrick all night.
by dedwyf March 5, 2013
Get the Edward Penishands mug.Edwardo is a perfect guy. He's the sweetheart of guys and he knows how to treat a girl right. He can be a dick at times because he doesn't know what he's doing wrong, but he often redeems his actions by making the girl of his dreams happy again. Any girl would love to be with an Edwardo. He's got a great body and loves to be loved. He also is caring and lovable. He's faithful and trustworthy. He has good looks and can really make a girl happy!
Girl 1: did you see Edwardo today?
Girl 2: yeah I almost kissed him, but he rejected me
Girl 1: why?!
Girl 2: he told me he's faithful and loves his girlfriend and that he would never cheat on her
Girl 1: aww I wish I had an Edwardo for a boyfriend!
Girl 2: yeah I almost kissed him, but he rejected me
Girl 1: why?!
Girl 2: he told me he's faithful and loves his girlfriend and that he would never cheat on her
Girl 1: aww I wish I had an Edwardo for a boyfriend!
by Babexo November 14, 2013
Get the Edwardo mug.Benjamin Edward Gordon also shortened to Ben Ed or even chuckles mcgordon if you know what I mean
Gives off serious Sagittarius energy....
Gives off serious Sagittarius energy....
I wish I could be Benjamin Edward Gordon
Girl 1: oh hey Ben!
*ben doesn’t bat an eyelid while he scuttles past spewing unidentifiable liquid.
People wish they could have Ben’s elegance.
Girl 1: oh hey Ben!
*ben doesn’t bat an eyelid while he scuttles past spewing unidentifiable liquid.
People wish they could have Ben’s elegance.
by Typical Gemini March 31, 2021
Get the Benjamin Edward Gordon mug.A dexterous dude, with circadian rhythm sleeping syndrome. He loves playing adventurous games and spending time on every social media platform getting into several info wars simultaneously.
A gamer dude who has recently developed a liking towards a really cute but nerdy girl. And he eventually gets together and improvising his dexterous abilities just to impress her.
A gamer dude who has recently developed a liking towards a really cute but nerdy girl. And he eventually gets together and improvising his dexterous abilities just to impress her.
Dan is an edsaraswat type of guy.
Dude, she's out of your league stop being edsaraswat.
I really wonna grow up to be an edsaraswat type of guy.
Dude, she's out of your league stop being edsaraswat.
I really wonna grow up to be an edsaraswat type of guy.
by Pickle_belly September 29, 2019
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