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Chuck Norris 

superhuman

never compare chuck norris to god, compare god to chuck norris

Gods name is God because the name Chuck Norris was already taken
guy1:dude chuck norris is Godly

guy2:no! God is Chuck Norrisly
Chuck Norris by the white snake January 8, 2009

chuck norris 

Chuck Norris lives on a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it.

Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

No matter what your mother said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.

There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold and turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning.

Chuck Norris can watch 60-Minutes in 10 minutes.

Will Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow-Tuesday

Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Chuck Norris-glare can make you shit yourself.

Some scientists believe a meteor killed all the dinosaurs. That's true of you want to call Chuck Norris a meteor.

Chuck Norris loves America. He hates communists. Once he heard a guy was executed for treason, treason is the most un-American thing Chuck Norris has ever heard so he killed himself, went to Hell, ripped the guys face off and uses his face as a loin cloth to this day. He then resurrected himself and slept peacefully.

Chuck Norris is so American that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white, and blue balls.
chuck norris by Legally Insane April 28, 2008

chuck norris 

Do not fuck with chuck norris, or you will get roundhouse kicked in the face faster than you can say nothing.
chuck norris by J.Hybrid December 29, 2007

Chuck Norris 

THE fu**in mightiest man on earth.
1000 of years ago, there was nothin. Then Chuck Norris came in the game, roundhouse kicked the nothin an said:"Go an get sum work!" This kick is know as the "big bang".
Chuck Norris by _Allen_ January 21, 2008

Chuck Norris 

God created Adam and Eve.
He got bored with Adam, so created Chuck Norris.
Chuck got pissed, so killed Adam, and fucked the bejesus out of his wife.
He populated the entire earth, because all of the sperm roundhouse kicked the eggs into coming into the womb to be fertilised.
Chuck Norris by Son Of Norris October 6, 2008

Chuck Norris 

If the world came to an end, Chuck Norris would save all, and kill us himself.
Chuck Norris by RiotDisaster May 11, 2009