Birthday Wank

An Evening of Masturbation on one's birthday to celebrate the conceivement of one's self.

Mate: yo man you wanna go out tonight for your birthday?

You: sorry man I'm having a birthday wank tonight

by 69420candice69420 February 22, 2023

wank

Advertise companies by posting their backlinks, despite not being a bot or an employee.

I make money nowadays wanking. No, not in the British sense - I post backlinks to companies in exchange for equity.

by jzekyll March 31, 2021

Whale wank

Whilst sat in the bath, with your collection of named whale toys you pick I winner and stare it in the eyes as you tug your tiny little pecker

Matty was having a whale wank and realised he should stop being such a virgin

by Cbesty91 December 27, 2018

copper wank

A wank with shit on your penis

She had a shit on my dick so i decided to pop out a copper wank

by Smithy12345 July 15, 2016

Wank

A Wank of MAMILs. The collective term to describe a group of middle aged men in Lycra who cycle together. It generally comprises of males aged between 40 & 60 years of age wearing matching Lycra tops and shorts. To be a member of this grouping, members must have a bike between $7000 & $10000 in value. These group are regularly found inhabiting cafes in the early morning hours with their shirts undone to their navels and wearing sunglasses that cost more than an average person’s weekly wage. The usual sounds emanating from a wank of mamils involves bravado using terms like “managed funds”, “options trading” and FX rates.

Oh look the reason the cafe is so busy this morning is because we have a wank of mamils with their bikes clogging the footpath.

by Cycle,lover January 23, 2021

Wank 'n bake

When you decide to have a joint or seven with some mates but as soon as they leave and while you're still high you have a wank because you "just want to see how it would feel".

"That was a great j, maybe I should go have a wank 'n bake, you know, just to see how it feels."

by really.im.the.plvg May 23, 2017

Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021