First Maid

The first first aid to arrive on the scene., Equipped with bandages, rolled gauzedes and ointments.

Pee pads are a must, be won't be required; are optional...
Proof of residency encouraged, not enforced.
Handicapped license required. Fraugalent abusers will be reported.
Anyone < age 55 will be locked at the staulks. No Poop Breaks.

Dayum Daniel, gramps here tired as hell, call up the First Maid, take her all day to walk here, and she gots to take me to get my prescription..

by Tiny( the wife) August 20, 2023

First Hand Experience In Second Hand Love

Gipsy please
Won't you give me
The secret key
Of life's mistery
She said
Gipsy girl
won't you unfurl
the flag of life
before my eyes
And she said
Then you read my hands
Then you read my eyes
Said I am a man
Who must learn to cry
Then you took the cards
Then tear a deck of truth

Gazed towards the stars
Said I must learn to lose
Gipsy love
Oh can't you see
That you are the one
I really need
She said I need
First hand experience
In second hand love
I need
First hand experience
In second hand love
Then you read my hands
Then you read my eyes
Said I am a man
Who must learn to cry
Then you took the cards
Then tear a deck of truth
Gazed toward the stars
Said I must learn to lose
Gipsy please
I won't be
Lover of you
Oh tell me please

First Hand Experience In Second Hand Love

by Death Menace August 31, 2023

First Day of Winter Nude

On the first day of every winter, anyone can use this coupon to receive a nude

Person 1: Yo girl, can I see sum

Person 2: Eww no

Person 1: But it's First Day of Winter Nude day
Person 2: Oh shit, that's my bad
*sends nude*

by . October 7, 2023

My First Post

A post you make on any social media when you were 9 and didn't know that the internet was a horny mess and still maintained your innocence and youth, which you then fondly look back on as a chronic Redditor.

P1: "Hey dude, look at my first post."
P2: "Oh wow, you were REALLY young then."
P1: "What's that supposed to mean?"

by The Hat King September 20, 2025

half first cousin

Your half uncle/aunt's child

I hate my half first cousin, She is a bitch

by GasparThalasso September 24, 2025

First Time Hot

Someone who didn't grow up conventionally attractive and now in adulthood they've become attractive and don't know how to handle the attention.

"He act's like a first time hot the way he will entertain and engage with anyone for attention even if he's not interested in them"

"It's the way she brags about the amount of people that slide into her dm's, it's like this is her first time being hot"

by TheMilkyMom September 30, 2025

Relax first, why not?

The meme of Indonesian origin with the caption "Relax first, why not?" using the image of relaxing broccoli from the 2010 advertising for Colgate toothpaste

I was feeling stressed about my exams, but then I saw that meme of the broccoli with 'Relax first, why not?' and it made me laugh!

by Emotional Cruiser October 17, 2025