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peter turtle

A Peter Turtle is the act of being so lonely that you have no choice but to sit home watch netflix and masterbate using your own tears as lubercation.
Hey Dale did you see that guy at lunch, poor fella he seems like a real Peter turtle.
by Maddog55 October 25, 2019
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chocolate malted turtle

When you're turtle heading a turd, but also want to have anal. So the turd gets yoyo-ed up and down your anal cavity only to explode out on completion
I really needed to shit but he came at me with the lube and I couldn't say no, but I ended up doing a chocolate malted turtle all over his dick
by Snarf snarf April 30, 2016
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turtle tennis

Where snot is in your mouth and you kiss/ spit in someones mouth and put the snot in there mouth and it goes back and forth.
by Moist Minge December 10, 2016
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turtle-eenie-weenie

An extravagant method of describing something so cute and minute that it forces the exclaimer to explain it in absolute nonsensical reptilian terms.
oh my goodness this babies toes are so turtle-eenie-weenies
by vapegodalbert April 22, 2022
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Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.
Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.
by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019
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Turtle-stabbin

A popular term for inserting a man's penis into an anal cavity. Most likely this is done in the doggy style position however can be done in many other preferred intercourse techniques.
"After the I left the bar last night, I went Turtle-stabbin with Stacy. Got into a bit of a sticky situation."
by Tiffini Smith February 8, 2018
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nair turtle

After prarie dogging before you take a massive shit, the turd finally slides out of your rectum hole silky smooth.
Man after eating taco bell, i let me out a nair turtle.
by Peter Parker November 17, 2016
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