turtles

Worse than llamas because llamas are awesome.

turtles are noobier than llamas

by Acritus April 20, 2017

Turtle Monkey

A man that has a long neck, a hairy body and a monkey face.

Guy 1- see this guy right there?

Guy 2- He looks like a turtle monkey.

by Defineiswhatido January 26, 2021

Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.

Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.

by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019

turtle-eenie-weenie

An extravagant method of describing something so cute and minute that it forces the exclaimer to explain it in absolute nonsensical reptilian terms.

oh my goodness this babies toes are so turtle-eenie-weenies

by vapegodalbert April 22, 2022

turtle tuesday

the best day

i love turtle tuesday

by sircarno January 19, 2021

turtle tennis

Where snot is in your mouth and you kiss/ spit in someones mouth and put the snot in there mouth and it goes back and forth.

She wanted to play turtle tennis last night!

by Moist Minge December 10, 2016

chocolate malted turtle

When you're turtle heading a turd, but also want to have anal. So the turd gets yoyo-ed up and down your anal cavity only to explode out on completion

I really needed to shit but he came at me with the lube and I couldn't say no, but I ended up doing a chocolate malted turtle all over his dick

by Snarf snarf April 30, 2016