A boring town in the East bay where you can find literal trailer parks and 5 bedroom homes within a mile of each other. The hills are filled with Karen’s who will drive their Tesla Model X at twice the legal speed limit down a suburban street. Meanwhile The kids in the valley think their from the actual ghetto and go around saying their from the trenches, but anyone form the actual hood could beat their ass in a minute.
“I’m from Castro Valley”
“Oh damn what is there to do there?
“Absolutely nothing except to clown on wannabe gangsters and Karen’s”
“Oh damn what is there to do there?
“Absolutely nothing except to clown on wannabe gangsters and Karen’s”
by Who?asked? March 23, 2024
Get the Castro Valley mug.What the actual fuck is the top definition, why is everything on this shitty website so oversexualized.
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by InterpersonalCommunication February 18, 2025
Get the Mária ' Angie' Castro; The First Juvenile Release: The First Juvenile Release mug.A town in the Bay Area 20 miles from San Francisco. A place where u can find more coffee shops than people, literal trailer parks down the street from five bedroom homes, and every household owns at least 2 teslas. All the high school kids in this town have Edgar’s and sag their pants thinking they’re tough and claiming their from the ghetto. When in reality their mother drives a Range Rover and they get terrified when they see a homeless person. There is nothing to do here other than go to a massive man made lake or get coffee.
Person 1: I went to Castro Valley
Person 2: oh me too, I got ran over by a Tesla and a soccer mom threw her iced Starbucks latte at me.
Person 2: oh me too, I got ran over by a Tesla and a soccer mom threw her iced Starbucks latte at me.
by Who?asked? May 4, 2024
Get the Castro Valley mug.An IRL fever dream. You could be at this school for 15 fucking minutes and witness so much weird shit that it’ll feel like ur on an acid trip. This place is full of rich white and Asian kids who act like they’re from the trenches and say the N word, when in reality they live in a 5 bedroom home in the hills with a loving family. They’ll say they’re “part of a gang” I’m still waiting to see what fucking gangs there are in Castro Valley California. Everyone this school also vapes the fuck out of their lungs. They’ll be sucking on that vape like they’re giving head to a black guy, and causing a damn gas chamber in the bathrooms. The Asians at this school all have a middle part and think it makes them look like a lead BTS member, when in reality they just look like nerds. The pick me girls also roam the halls while literally talking to 25 guys at the same time and carrying 15 STD’s. You can’t catch a fucking break at this school cause even if ur minding ur own damn business some idiot will come up to u and start acting genuinely autistic.
Guy 1: I’m going to castro valley high next year
Guy 2: holy shit why?
Guy 1: I gotta see those wannabe gangsters, weebs, and pick me hoes
Guy 2: holy shit why?
Guy 1: I gotta see those wannabe gangsters, weebs, and pick me hoes
by Watdaduck July 30, 2024
Get the Castro Valley High mug.A place for rich asians who dont care about value, wanna be gansters, white people, and more. People know eachother there, and it is genuinely crowded, because it’s a small city
Person for Castro Valley: AYE CASTRO VALLEY IS DA TOUGHEST CITY OUT HER- Person from East Oakland: SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH!!
by SimonSaysOfficial January 4, 2021
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