promise heaven, deliver hell

Mariage holds the promise of heaven but delivers hell.

Before:I can't wait till we get married,and can spend all our time together, I love you so much!
^promise heaven, deliver hell>
After:Leave me alone asshole, no sex!! I only want your paycheck and for you to clean my house.do what I say or I will deliver hell!!!!!

Enough said!

by HOSDOG January 6, 2009

florida promise

a verbal agreement made by a floridian, which is usually not kept.

jon made a florida promise, and did not show up.

by chris artis September 28, 2007

promised land

the state of reaching an orgasm, take me to the promised land

I have been to the mountaintop and I have seen the promised land, I may not get there with you...

He had his tongue all in there and he was workin' it and workin' and and he took me to the promised land.

by elvette July 20, 2006

Promise

A real bad bitch. Doesn’t take no for an answer, always running her mouth but can back her shit up. Don’t test her because she is not to be tried, epitome of stubborn. Attitude off the charts. Real pretty

Damn this bitch Promise so moody.

by Jarjarbinx21 December 18, 2019

false promise of pudding

when a girl gives you the slight or direct notion that she will sleep with you and then she doesn't.
Like being promised that if you finish your dinner you will get pudding for desert and you end up getting pumpkin pie!

yo yesterday, jane told me we was gonna get it on and it turned out to be a total false promise of pudding man!!

by abdoolio February 1, 2008

plastic promise

A promise that is never planned to be kept.

Her plastic promise made me feel terrible.

by EpicMC February 3, 2017

promiseland of ashtrays

when your fresh out of ciggarettes, screaming at the world, and you happen to stumble across a full ashtray glistening with beautiful butts just waiting for you to light them and take the remaining three hits.

"THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUCKING PROMISELAND OF ASHTRAYS!"

by dextromethorphan moments December 2, 2009