maria bamford

a breath of fresh air to the dane-cook polluted air of modern american comedy. she is quirky, dark, extremely witty, observational and obnoxiously adorable with her blonde hair and child-like voice. she does not necessarily stick to the classic joke-to-punchline formula but instead relies on storytelling using her unique voices. a shape-shifter of sorts, the bammer is able to drastically change her normal high voice into more masculine, mature, raspy, etc. etc...voices; her most honed and popular impressions would be that of her parents and sister. she suffers from ocd, depression, anxiety which she works into her act. she lives with her eleven year old pug and "wife-partner" blossom. she has a hilarious one-woman sitcom on superdelux.com in which she plays every part and she was also apart of patton oswalt's "comedians of comedy" tour. the bammer is basically a goddess of indie comedy.

"dude have you seen the maria bamford show on superdelux.com?"
"totally. amy sleverson is the shit."

by elnewton January 18, 2009

drink before you drink

1.The situation in beer pong where the shooting team makes a cup and you must pull that cup and chug. One must chug thy heavenly brew before thou shoots. thus resulting in drink BEFORE you drink. (cause you'll prolly miss the table and have to pull another one anyways)
2. Chillin at the crib drinking or "pre-drinking" before some shendig

1.
dude 1: why are you chuggin that beer so fast?
dude 2: dude drink before you drink
2.
dude 1: why are you drinking now dude? were goin to that bomb ass quadruple kegger
dude 2: dude drink before you drink

by D to tha J March 6, 2009

Lowes before Hos

When a man prefers the company of his tools, hotrod upgrades or home improvement projects over the company of women.

Hey honey, do you want to the mall? Nah, I gotta date with a case o' beer and my car upgrades. These aren't going to install themselves. You're always under you car! When are you going to spend time with me? Lowes before hos baby... Lowes before hos.

by mattyboyee January 18, 2009

Bedford

Bedford Mass...AKA Deadford. A small town with a small highschool of around 750 where about a third of the kids live on Hanscom AFB.

We're right next to rich douche bag asshole Concord and wannabe ghetto asshole Lexington, and whenever we go somewhere out of state or even twenty minutes away and we say we're from Bedford they always say OH I WENT THERE THE HARBOR IS LOVELY. This is where I punch them in the face and say FUCK YOU THAT'S NEW BEDFORD. At least we have a McDonald's, SUPER stop and shop, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Whole Foods, and three liquor stores.

We probably have the most drugs in our immediate area, mostly consisting of reefer but we also have shrooms, acid, salvia, X, and probably more...Drinking is common too.

For some reason, the amount of traffic makes getting from one side of town to the other nearly impossible.

We have a good high school full of preppy stoners, smart stoners, jock stoners, dumb stoners, and ghetto stoners. Then there are a few straight edge kids. It's mostly white kids, and the black kids are either from the base or (mostly) from Boston (metco program). However, the black kids usually just intimidate the white kids, walk slow, and the black girls get mad if you get within 3 feet of them. While some may think it, there isn't much bad-assery around except for the middle schoolers who draw dicks all over the barely used skatepark......

Our sports suck most of the time, but when they aren't sucking they actually do pretty well.

To sum it up, Bedford is a rich, white person town with a nice commercial center, and near the mall (thankfully), full of stoners (of all ages, not just the HS), and undiverse. But better than limp dick Concord.

New Bedford will get owned by melted polar ice caps bitch

by Rahfeer CDOC January 13, 2009

B.G. (Before Google)

The Era in which humans lived before the search engine; Google

To whom did we address our questions too B.G. (Before Google)?

by what just happened?! September 23, 2009

hoes before bros

Leaving your friends to get some with your girl and/or random girls

dude where did carl go?
he left with that random hoe.
so you mean this nigga left us at this shitty movie?
yeah dude.
Hoes before bros? thats fucked up.

by shaved arms May 15, 2010

Goin' Ed Belfour

When someone reaches a state of drunkeness where they begin to feel violent and roudy. They may strike out at authority figures and will refuse to leave the place of drinking when asked. This is known as "Goin' Ed Belfour"

JR has had about 8 drinks so far...he's goin' Ed Belfour

Back off man before I go Ed Belfour

by Jeremy Roenick July 20, 2008