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monkey self

When you or someone else acts ridiculous, usually by accident. "Monkey self" meaning yourself, and "monkey ass" meaning someone else.
"BRO my monkey self fell asleep yesterday when I was supposed to meet you guys at the park."

"His monkey ass really just failed to do a backflip during the dance battle, and then let out the loudest fart ever heard by humanity the very second he hit the ground."
by VomitOnMySkirt November 23, 2022
mugGet the monkey selfmug.

squatting monkey

A woman is standing up squatting down with a man lying beneath her legs. His erection is preferably underneath her vagina the man must then thrust upwards into the vagina. At the moment of the mens climax he must exit and aim for the womens entrance, if you make it you win.
We tried the Squatting Monkey last night, I lost
by CoopDaddy1919 January 8, 2018
mugGet the squatting monkeymug.

Serial monkey

A term used in the 1800s (when people were racist) when there was a serial killer, people thought they were black. So they were worried to death, but all those serial monkeys were white.
Watch out! There's a serial monkey in town!
by Realssk May 30, 2022
mugGet the Serial monkeymug.

monkey-pissed

adjective: Angry

When a person is pushed past the point of extreme anger - because nothing in the world is working as it should - to the point where all the person can do is hop around, yell, urinate on the floor, and throw feces.
Vernon: Hey man, what's up?

Matt: Work is sucking the soul out of me, my computer just got the blue screen of death, the stock market crashed again, and I just bit my tongue. My blueberry yogurt in the fridge is the only good thing in my life.

Vernon: Natalie just ate it.

Matt: I'm so monkey-pissed right now.
by Mattydreads1 May 6, 2010
mugGet the monkey-pissedmug.

monkey puttzing

random activities with no reason or defined outcome that passes the time pleasently
I spent 20 minutes monkey puttzing at work when I should have been trying to find the right wording for a report.
by murryxramone June 22, 2011
mugGet the monkey puttzingmug.

mumble monkey

When rappers mumble when they rap, or mummer words into the microphone.
These rappers on the radio are nothing but mumble monkeys!

GET THAT DAMN MUMBLE MONKEY OUTTA HERE!
by Rymzer September 30, 2021
mugGet the mumble monkeymug.

monkey calluses

Monkey calluses are calluses on the bottom part of your fingers. Usually got from climbing.
Bruh, those are some big monkey calluses.
by -__God__- December 19, 2018
mugGet the monkey callusesmug.

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