Matt's First Law

Your car will be only be involved in an accident totaling it when all the following conditions are met:
1. You have a full tank a gas
2. You have recently had an oil change
3. You have 4 new tires

Some middle-age woman plowed into your car and totaled it. Matt's First Law applies.

by Matty M. G. January 11, 2011

The Law Of Maximum Misery

States that one should always be aware of their surroundings in order to prepare for the worst.

Billy is very careful and is driving a car. Therefore he suspects that a car filled with very noisy (and apparently drunk) teenagers would get into a wreck. So Billy turns unto a different street in order to avoid any other complications. So he is abiding to the rules of The Law Of Maximum Misery.

by Koachilion March 18, 2007

Turd Law of Relativity

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.

Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."

by JohnnyApocalypse October 23, 2013

baby daddy in law

Your baby mommas new man.

My kids step dad is my baby daddy in law

by Spaghetti dudette November 25, 2018

Murphy's Mechanic's Law

Anything in your car that has gone wrong, will ""not"" go wrong when the mechanic is looking.

My high-beam dimmer--switch is faulty, yet when I took the car to the mechanic for troubleshooting, the switch worked perfectly for him! Typical Murphy's Mechanic's Law at work!

by QuacksO July 18, 2018

The Clint Eastwood Law

'No matter how much you dislike something, until someone comes along with some changes that make sense you will stick with it'

- 'The current publishing system in science is bad.'
- 'I agree, but as you propose no better alternative I will respect the Clint Eastwood law and stick with it'

by GibonBP October 2, 2018

double-brother-in-law

Sister’s husband and spouse’s brother at the same time.

My double-brother-in-law is a good person.

by Rwopazaq November 24, 2019