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Can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch

Idiom. Used to describe a person's lack of intelligence or inability to perform/achieve a simple task.
Is it any surprise how badly he did? That idiot can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch.
by Catfish Baruni June 16, 2016
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love light

A glowing condom use in the ways of the Jedi
God I can't wait to try out these new love lights!
by Love lights September 5, 2016
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Coors Light

The nastiest s*** you'll drink it taste like salt
My Coors Light taste like a horse eating salt Cube
by Coors Light tastes like shit February 4, 2018
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the light blue blog

It's the nickname of An Author's Blog during the 2012-2014 era; it's the blog of the publisher of The Ethereal Gazette that does in depth investigative journalism that goes further than some of the major news sources. The noted blog entries "King James Only Examined," "Faustian Bargain," "I Don't Understand (This World)" and "Lying Bastards All Around," then noted for coining Shadow Dolls Plagiarism Affair as he was scammed by the serial plagiarist in the HWA and SFWA in 2007 then finding out about it in 2010 around Halloween. Noted for being home on WordPress.com.
The noted blog of the writer of An Eye In Shadows that paired with Tumblr been prone to engage in Twitter and LiveJournal gangups as seen them in the comments on his own blog, the re-emergence of the blog became noted as the light blue blog that took aim at Anderson Cooper when he was feuding with Smashing Pumpkins lead singer and fellow Glendale Heights notable. Candid life meets in depth reporting as he's often telling the truth at the expense of the rest of the factions of the genre industry busting their corrupt politics. Noted in 2007-2008 to coin Piss Blogger when addressing blogtrolls on YouTube as he saw Something Awful lifting his senior picture as the joke "Hogwarts School of Tabloid and Investigative Journalists" was born from it. He uses documentaries found on youtube to give his investigative entries more venom -- "King James Only Examined" and "Scaring People For Al Time" are the two that caught the most wind for being extremely investigative. His introduction to Buzzfeed was an expose of a former Cradle of Filth backing vocalist suggesting she needed to educate herself further before saying something out of ignorance.
by illinoishorrorman May 5, 2018
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hangdown lights

A male let's his testicular scrotam hang over a female's optical receptors, allowing the testicles to hang freely. The female then inserts a finger into the male's rectum acting as though it is a light switch. The male remains in this position until the female flips the light switch again.
Did you hear that Mikey gave Sharlene hangdown lights?
He hasn't been able to sit straight since.
by Tits Mugee December 28, 2016
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Light saber

A light saber is when you pour the liquid from a glow stick onto your dick and go to a dark room to helicopter it around
"When I saw the new Star Wars movie I pulled a light saber in the theater."
by Big poppa bear January 8, 2017
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Triangle of light

Where thighs and hips meet in a toned body and an upside down triangle forms. One should be able to see through the space for a true Triangle.
I've been doing squats for weeks trying to get the Triangle of Light to appear
by MasqueradeJelly January 17, 2017
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