Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

You'd Give Her A Poke If The Telly Was Broke

Irish slang
you would have sex with a particular girl if the tv was broken. Can also mean she is an average looking girl . Usallay said in a joking manner.

Guy 1:"You'd Give Her A Poke If The Telly Was Broke."
Guy 2: "I agree."

by supermadcow124 April 19, 2016

shes actually just tying her shoe

She's a hoe.

(Shes) (a)ctually just tying her s(hoe). It was a comment on a picture that said s(he's) br(ok)en, and showed the girl tying her shoe. shes actually just tying her shoe

by Mcd247 February 8, 2013

investigating his/her crime scene

A slang term for masturbation.

Self-gratification. The act of "playing" with your genitals, for sexual excitement/pleasure; usually to orgasm.

I walked into the room and there he/she was, naked and sprawled across the bed investigating his/her crime scene.

by ScottyBAus March 11, 2008

But wait, did Adolph hit her?

A clever saying that rhymes with "Adolph Hitler".

"Have you ever met Adolph's wife?"

"No, but I've seen her pictures on Facebook, she had this fat bruise."

"But wait, did Adolph hit her?"

by I'm not a troll December 6, 2011

2 hood 4 her own good

A homeless and/or jobless methed out used and abused female. One who posts numerous selfies with meth mouth labeled "gangsta" or "thug life". Also one who posts body shots showing off her weight loss progress.... delusionally thinking nobody knows the dramatic 230 pound drop in weight in 6 short months was meth induced. A bitch who has an ugly face but an even uglier nonmoral heart and will use and abuse every anyone around her for her next sneaky plot to manipulate them. One who throws pitty parties on the regular and can't seem to draw an eyebrow correctly... instead making a thin straight long black line above her eyes and calls it good. Bitch that can't spell.

Whoa! That bitch is 2 hood 4 her own good yo!

by Cuntpuke June 27, 2016

Putting the Louie Anderson in her kiddie pool

When one folds their testicles into a woman's vagina, often while saying, "I'm sorry, baby, I ruined everything, baby". Credit to Henry Zebrowski of The Last Podcast on the Left

Oh man, I had such bad whiskey dick last night that I ended up putting the Louie Anderson in her kiddie pool.

by Ballsakless February 12, 2023