A function check is a military euphemism for male masturbation, as if to compare the penis to a weapon.
Private Duffy, perform a function check on that M4 rifle.
Yo man, I’m so horny I’m going to go perform a “function check”. If you know what I mean.
Yo man, I’m so horny I’m going to go perform a “function check”. If you know what I mean.
by Humpty1963 December 8, 2022
Get the function check mug.Venmo for old people
Charlie who is 70 gave his grandson a paper check for $50 for this birthday. His grandson asked, grandma what is this? He replied this is like Venmo but for old people.
by Nato1029 December 15, 2019
Get the Check mug.He is either going to get by or he is going to see the big concert in the sky. Right after his Seattle Sound Check.
by Xero Danger February 22, 2025
Get the Seattle Sound Check mug.Where a gal promises to "pay" you for a favor by spreading her legs for you afterwards, but then unexpectedly insists that you wear a condom, which of course drastically reduces the pleasure of the act and thus largely negates any true value of said "payment".
Any time that a "willing" chick offers me sex in exchange for my assistance, I always make sure to first ask her if she's gonna let me "do it bareback" before I decide whether or not to bust my ass for her --- oh, I might still help her out even if she wants me to use protection, of course, but I still like to know what I'll be actually getting out of da deal --- I've gotten too many rubber checks in da past!
by QuacksO September 9, 2018
Get the rubber check mug.That final moment of clarity when he realizes that the “sports” bar his chatty, new male friends have taken him to is in fact a gay bar
Denver was great except that we missed that great , little vinyl lounge because the insurance agent need a Rocky Mountain Reality Check.
by GungaDinn May 19, 2024
Get the Rocky Mountain Reality Check mug.A term used in the MMA community for when a fighter whose skills have been severely overrated due to only fighting low-level opponents finally fights someone at a higher level and gets exposed as not being nearly as good as their fans had claimed they were
by jakkal25 April 2, 2024
Get the Fraud Check mug.When one either passes gas and is not sure if it was a shart, or they might not have wiped good enough earlier after pooping, takes toilet paper and dry wipes their butt.
Phil was so sweaty and didn’t know if he wiped good enough earlier, so I told him to check your dipstick.
by Sea_Waffle_69 June 17, 2018
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