monkey fucked

When you have a thought, then something totally ridiculous happens, and you COMPLETELY loose that thought. You were just monkey fucked.

You are sitting at a bar talking about some stupid bullshit, and then a car out side EXPLODES:

Person 1: Yeah man, so I was on my way to...
Car: BOOOOOOM!!
Person 2: Holy shit! ...What were you saying?
Person 1:... I have no idea.
Person 2: You been monkey fucked, fool.

by Crouching Monkey Hidden Anus July 9, 2009

monkey bars

Street name for 2mg tablets of Xanax (Alprazolam). The name is derived from the three scores down one side of the long, white tablet, making them divisible by four. The scoring resembles the children's playground equipment 'monkey bars'.

Dude: Hey man, got any monkey bars?

Mr Mackey: Drugs are bad mmmkay.

by jussagal October 28, 2008

monkey sex

The joyful and tiresome act of sexual intercourse while hanging from the monkey bars.

Babe, my abs and arms are so sore from all of that monkey sex last night.

by doowopTown July 27, 2009

Chunky Monkey

A female with a fat pussy. Chunky as in chubby or thick. Monkey as in pussy. Not to be confused with a FUPA, which is a fat upper pussy area.

Nema: Ayo cuz did you smash last night?

Weez: Hell yeah nucca that broad had a Chunky Monkey!

by B. Pipez March 17, 2009

northern monkey

A gentleman who talks about how much he likes gravy then proceeds to bathe in gravy and then drink it, keeps pigeons, ferrets and t'wife in shed in t'garden. Eats toast with oxo cubes sprinkled on top, comes to the pub with £1.40 and manages to get drunk and spill 4 pints of tetleys down his tweeds.

A northern monkey is identifiable in the pub as usually can be heard asking "can I have a light f'mi fag"

by Rich McLaughlin March 10, 2008

Monkey Fist

When a man defecates in his hand, then squeezes it so that the feces leaks out from between the fingers, and thrusts it into the vagina or ass of his partner.

Bill: Hey, John, have you met my new girlfriend?
John: I hate to tell you this, dude, but I used to totally monkey fist her.
Bill: That's disgusting. And kinky.

by E. Barrett March 7, 2008

Cock-monkey

1. (insult) Somebody who would rather take a meat injection up the shitter than stand up for himself or others.

2. (insult) Somebody who loves taking cock up the back passage more than anything else on earth.

3. (insult) Generally a bit of a tit.

"Hey there goes that fucking 'cock-monkey' Johnny, Let's douse him in oil and set fire to him!

"I hate Harold, he's such a cock-monkey."

by soulspinner July 15, 2006