a sperm pet is honestly just a child its a teen slang word used to say they want a kid, referring to a child as a sperm pet is a way to make a funny joke about raising children.
vanessa : i think id have a adorable sperm pet
cadence : yea i think if you had a sperm pet it’d be pretty cute
cadence : yea i think if you had a sperm pet it’d be pretty cute
by amos@xkhl0 July 21, 2022
Sperm Facial, using a man's load of hot semen to tighten your pores.
The act of massaging his semen in a circular motion all over your face.( To be peeled off later, or not?)
The act of massaging his semen in a circular motion all over your face.( To be peeled off later, or not?)
Sally," You skin looks so good, what do you use on it?"
Jen," OMG Thanks, Chris gave me a sperm facial last night!!"
Sally," Kat at the office could really use one of those, does it work on you back?
Jen, " Yes just have your BF shoot it anywhere and rub it in"
Nan," Your Mom looks like she is in her 30's, what is her secret?"
Mary," Sperm Facials, she's been getting them from Dad for over 25 years!"
Jen," OMG Thanks, Chris gave me a sperm facial last night!!"
Sally," Kat at the office could really use one of those, does it work on you back?
Jen, " Yes just have your BF shoot it anywhere and rub it in"
Nan," Your Mom looks like she is in her 30's, what is her secret?"
Mary," Sperm Facials, she's been getting them from Dad for over 25 years!"
by The only Baby Girl October 10, 2013
The result of not pulling out, being too drunk too care, or failed birth control will end up with a personal financial and emotional weight for eighteen years. Usually making it impossible to go and do anything normal adults want to do.
by President McDevitt January 15, 2018
Usually refers to ass of female person with questionable morale, better known as whore or slut. Sometimes sperm garage can refers to that whore person itself.
*Situation one
Dude1 : "Hey i got some extra money from drug trafficing this weekend, wanna go over and spend it on sperm garages with me?"
Dude2: "Sure dad, i havent visited prostitutes since last week!"
*Situation 2
Dude1: " Hey bitch, wanna come over tonight? I want to fill that sperm garage of yours!"
Whore: "Sure baby, i cant wait for you to cum in my ass"
Dude1 : "Hey i got some extra money from drug trafficing this weekend, wanna go over and spend it on sperm garages with me?"
Dude2: "Sure dad, i havent visited prostitutes since last week!"
*Situation 2
Dude1: " Hey bitch, wanna come over tonight? I want to fill that sperm garage of yours!"
Whore: "Sure baby, i cant wait for you to cum in my ass"
by CawkReider November 20, 2018
A girl that will make you ejaculate in a cup during sex to then try to read your future with it like it was tea leaves. Usually, they are crazy beyond repair and well use healing crystals as butt plugs.
Marc: How was that girl you hooked up with last night?
Jeremie: Bro she was a Sperm Witch when I cam she put my cum in a cup and said I was going to die in 3 years
Marc: You need to get a healing crystal to protect you
Jeremie: Bro she was a Sperm Witch when I cam she put my cum in a cup and said I was going to die in 3 years
Marc: You need to get a healing crystal to protect you
by hahasuka December 08, 2020
n., derogatory term for someone who thinks with his pelvis, acts in haste AND has really bad aim, resulting in idiotic and embarrassing multiple projectile-based injuries.
meme-derived from boingboing's article about violent sex between giant squid.
meme-derived from boingboing's article about violent sex between giant squid.
While attempting to rob a convenience store, Frank Loz was captured in hi-res on CC camera. His image was put on U-Toob within hours, where police and other viewers were amazed to discover that he had not been smart enough to don a ski mask. But what qualified him as a real sperm package was that he shot himself in the foot _seven times_, while trying to get his handgun out of his pants.
by Veektoastia March 27, 2008