A Jerk-Off Jehova Witness

noun: person: A Jerk-off Jehova Witness is somebody who only texts or calls you when he's jerking off, and doesn't ever want to actually meet. He is annoying and comes a-knocking at the times that are convenient only to them.
Mike only ever calls me when he's jerking off. I offer to make plans so we can both get off, but something always comes up. He's such a jerk-off jehova. aka. a Jerk-Off Jehova Witness
by R. Tizz-E April 09, 2024
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Joe Jerk Off

A variation of "Joe Schmoe", this term is used for someone who inserts their opinion when not asked. Additionally, this person thinks they know what they're talking about, even though they have no experience or knowledge on most subject being discussed. You might say a Joe Jerk Off is a member of the Peanut Gallery.
Guy #1: Do you hear this guy talking about shit he knows nothing about?
Guy #2: Yeah, he's a real Joe Jerk Off
by ImAGorilla69 March 16, 2022
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Jerk off and smoke Newports

A figurative description of an attitude towards life, as well as your immediate and distant surroundings. When you refer to yourself or someone else 'just Jerking off and smoking Newports',, you are simply trying to convey that you/they are not letting anything current issue take their mind off themselves. It is the most self-absorbed and least constructive activity imaginable.
Once I get my pension, I am just gonna retreat to my apartment in Des Moines, and then I'm just gonna jerk off and smoke Newports until Yellowstone does us all in, THAT's my 5-year plan!

I tried to pursuade him to get more involved in student politics, but he just sits in his room jerking off and smoking Newports like these things don't affect him!
by how-young-people-talk March 31, 2020
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November 18th is jerk off your homie day. Get going with the homies or a homie and have a good time ! Also it’s an automatic no homo
by Yuh-yuh-heee November 18, 2020
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wild turkey jerk off

When a guy jerks off intensely making Turkey noises and then cums on his girlfriend's back and sticks feathers to it
by Kinkyp33nyborder June 28, 2015
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jerk off station

Everyone knows why you have a computer or jerk off station in your house
by Young Jazzy Yo October 24, 2023
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