Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018

Crumpet crippler

The act of shitting out the digested remains of a crumpet, placing it on one’s hand, and slapping one in the genitals until they orgasm uncontrollably leaving them paralysed.

Steve, I’m horny. Give me a crumpet crippler.

by Scousebirdcoleen October 10, 2019

Crumpet stuffer

A derogatory term used to describe the British and their obsession with tea and crumpets.

American: "Here comes the Crumpet stuffer!"

by He8i3 May 04, 2022

Strumpet Crumpet

Strumpet Crumpet A hottie and great in bed

That Strumpet Crumpet is hot and sexy

by VileGay September 21, 2023

Crumpet Bumper

A person who prefers to engage in sexual activities with an older woman

"Cory really seems to be into older women"
"Ya, he's a real crumpet bumper"

by AnAverageNormalEveryDayGuy March 20, 2024

Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy April 09, 2018

crumpet

someone who shits so fucking much

sorry dude one second, i gotta go crumpet.

by neuqxss February 23, 2022