Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024

alarm clock charger

a alarm clock that charges your phone.

I don't use a normal charger I use a alarm clock charger.

by joyful coffee June 30, 2023

Dirty alarm clock

A woman standing over an alarm clock primed for 3:00AM while giving a blowjob and either cums or pisses on the alarm clock before the alarm goes off

"yo, once we went to my place we tried doin a " dirty alarm clock."

by Nnotbad March 29, 2022

Potato alarm clock

When you wake up to someone shitting the turd the size of a potato into your mouth

Person sleeping: (snoring with mouth open)
Significant other: (loud grunting)(massive shit falls out into sleeping persons mouth)
Person sleeping: (wakes up and eats potato sized turd)
Significant other: "you're welcome for your potato alarm clock"
Person sleeping: "Thanks baby that was the best one yet!!!"

by LittleSinep November 23, 2021

shawshank alarm clock

The Shawshank alarm clock is the act of waking up someone with hardcore anal

Friend: Why are there scratches all over your arms?
Me: I did the Shawshank alarm clock on my girlfriend today

by 3scort August 6, 2019

Cumbrian Alarm Clock

Waking a sleeping bed fellow with anal sex.

She was rudely awakened by Chris’s Cumbrian Alarm Clock.

by ChrisOl May 6, 2021

Ghetto alarm clock

When you sleep through your alarms and your friends come over to wake you up by banging on your bedroom window.

"Austin's phone died last night, but the ghetto alarm clock woke him up."

by Nathan V. September 26, 2021