by TAcoBoXXX June 14, 2007
the pizza Messiah that drapes his cock over your pizza and turns it into the best pizza you have ever taste
pizza jesus came by and i was like whoa what the fuck get your cock out of my pizza
he left
I ate it cause im not picky
he left
I ate it cause im not picky
by Zaschary milledry May 07, 2015
Someone who smokes pot and talks about the gospel all the time. Basically someone torn between two lifestyles.
by tragicbeautiful June 27, 2008
The person who is super dope to the max and he always gives you what you want. It is to be associated with mommy barbie which is the female version of the coolest parental association there is
by Ivan_yesss December 04, 2007
Spaceship Jesus controls everything! Created with a gathering of theories based on Christianity, paranoia, benzo withdrawl & Netflix, this new-found comical theory, states that BOTH spaceships and Jesus will be seen during the end of times.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
Christian aspect:
Jesus saves his people from the tribulation, destroys the wicked, & ushers in an age of peace; after the age of peace, there is a second, brief time of trouble which results in the permanent banishment of the wicked. - Wikipedia
Alien aspect:
As our planet becomes closer to the Sun or Solar Flares, in 2012 scientists will reveal that.. it's over! Signs include OCD number writing, being Nicholas Cage & seeing aliens. There's no escaping our doomed fate!
Trials & Tribulations started in '04 when Paris Hilton's sex tape was released. On a mission for survival, Will Ferrel & Brennan Fraisier went to a diner to force all the devil worshipers & meth cooks to save the world by proving that both the The Center of the Earth and the Land of the Lost are REAL so humans could live there till Spaceship Jesus comes! They found an unwed pregnant woman at the diner & decided to make her baby the future of the human race. She ran for the door, but Betty White went nuts & crawled on the ceiling, & she was forced to go with them. None of them have been seen since, but at worst, they go into a volcano & are fed to dinosaurs.
The aliens will be able to pass through the thin walls of our parallel universes, escape Area 51 & only take 1 man, give him a brain & the power to deceive us promising the answers to all unknown things. He will disguise himself as Jesus, but he won't even have a spaceship! He will in fact be the Antichrist, ultimate manipulator, Tom Cruise.
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
They will then invade Earth disguised as "a massive dying of birds" looking for the chosen one; the most powerful person on the planet, Oprah. Together, Tom Cruise & the demon bird aliens use her human body as a host and form the Earth version of Satan. Then the battle begins.
In 2011 durring an ice storm in Kettering, Ohio we witnessed Spaceship Jesus RSVP, telling us the end was near! Bright colorful lights, followed by frozen flood covered streets, as we sat in our houses. No power, internet or Netflix. Just suffering, chatting with our loved ones without distractions, in misery for 72 hours.
That night was never revealed. They called it "power outages" & "cracked potheads". DP&L, Channel 2 news, & a kid from Kroger who recorded the chaos at the substation all covered it up. Why? Because they're all ILLUMINATI!
The message was clear that night & was decoded by "American Psychic" John Edwards being simply this: be astronauts, look for Jesus riding on a spaceship, hear the dead communicate through me, get off or ON drugs, & finally, get a life & stop watching so much tv!
lol :P
(not to be taken litteral)
by TheTardish March 01, 2011
Jesus Christ
My Lord and Saviour. The Son of God who was sacrificed for our sins, so we could have and opportunity to have everlasting life in Heaven. He loves ou so much...more than anyone in this world. A friend to the friendless, a father to the fatherless, a healer for the sick. He will never give up on you. He loves you more than you could ever comprehend. He is forgiving and merciful. He will NEVER EVER give up on you, even when you want to give up on yourself.
You may wonder, " How can a loving God allow bad thing to happen?" But these thing happen to mold us and make us according to His plan. He loves you so much, no matter what you do. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE YOU FROM THE LOVE OF GOD! NOT EVEN SATAN HIMSELF!
REMEMBER: God unconditionally loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
Won't you love the One who loves you the most?
My Lord and Saviour. The Son of God who was sacrificed for our sins, so we could have and opportunity to have everlasting life in Heaven. He loves ou so much...more than anyone in this world. A friend to the friendless, a father to the fatherless, a healer for the sick. He will never give up on you. He loves you more than you could ever comprehend. He is forgiving and merciful. He will NEVER EVER give up on you, even when you want to give up on yourself.
You may wonder, " How can a loving God allow bad thing to happen?" But these thing happen to mold us and make us according to His plan. He loves you so much, no matter what you do. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE YOU FROM THE LOVE OF GOD! NOT EVEN SATAN HIMSELF!
REMEMBER: God unconditionally loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
Won't you love the One who loves you the most?
Guy 1: Have you heard about Jesus Christ?
Guy 2: Of course, He's my best friend dude!
Guy 1: No way! SAME!
Guy 2: Of course, He's my best friend dude!
Guy 1: No way! SAME!
by Yeshua's Child August 02, 2020
A Curse word expressing the Lord's name in vain that progressively has replaced the phrase, "God Damn't".
We were robbed? Jesus Damn't!
by Liam Thomas June 09, 2007