Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read is a vine reference used by nostalgic people who miss vine

"Hey could you read page 21 for the class?"
"No I can not WHADDUP I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ

by Kirbylove May 6, 2018

No one give 1 fuck what yo name mean

Yo ass really thought we gon read that shit? @713.drizzo

“Omg my name describes me so perfectly 🥰 everyone def gon wanna read this”
“Girl, no one give 1 fuck what yo name mean”

by @713.drizzo November 23, 2021

there is a gay ass mother fucker on my lawn, fucking my lawn flamingo

when someone that no one likes tries to talk to you and they don't know that no one likes them but you don't want to be a dick because it was a silent agreement that no one likes them and eventually you just tell them to fuck off so later they come to your house and fuck you lawn flamingo so you call the cops.

police responder: hello this is 911 what is your emergency
You : there is a gay ass mother fucker on my lawn, fucking my lawn flamingo
Police responder: understood multiple police cruisers have been dispatched to your location

by Mr. Dissapointed June 1, 2020

i'm literally going to die please call 911 please man i'm fucking

this isn't a joke my captor forgot to block urban dictionary this is my only escape I am being held in the basement of 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104

Joe: "Hey Jerry, how are you doing today?"
Jerry: "I'm literally going to die please call 911 please man i'm fucking"
Joe: "Great to hear!"

by Yeet-Fa-Feet September 16, 2022

cool story bro, now what chapter do you shut the fuck up?

a sarcastic way to get some one to understand their own stupidity in what they just said

"SOoo i went shopping with my mom yesterday.......etc"
"cool story bro, now what chapter do you shut the fuck up?"

by ferrkk October 12, 2011

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, mother fucker, tits, fart, turd, and twat

George Carlin's list of 7 words that you cannot say on television!

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, mother fucker, tits, fart, turd, and twat!

by INURA!!! April 13, 2009

Urban dictionary is so fucking gay. They don't accept funny submissions anymore

The guy above is a cranberry fucknut. However, urban dictionary has some really positive queer definitions so he is technically correct

The guy above me: Urban dictionary is so fucking gay. They don't accept funny submissions anymore.
Me: you are correct and if you could read you may be able to find some funny definitions. If you could find some brain cells and use them you may realise that racism, heterosexism and sexism are not the same as humor

by Basically ace satan January 1, 2021