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douche phase

(Doosh feyz)

noun

1. A period of time in which a new skill is being acquired, and you look like a douche trying to figure out how to do it.

2. That part of life, often referred to as adolescence in which one becomes oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of others, have little control over emotions or body responses and sometimes becomes unable to speak, especially in the presence of pretty girls. Though this is a frequently temporary condition, but can lead to more serious conditions (...see douche).

verb

douche phasing

1. The act of being in a douche phase.
n.
1. "Oh my god, I'm in such a douche phase right now trying to learn how to tie my shoes. I should have learned this when I was in kindergarten with the rest of my shoes. Curse you velcro!!!!!!"

2. "That guy is totally in a douche phase. He just came up to me and drooled on my shoe and walked away. OMFG!"

verb
1. "Holy crap, I am douche phasing so hard right now on GTA. WTF is wrong with me!?!?"
by burfino March 2, 2017
mugGet the douche phasemug.

Hobo Douche

The act of gorging on apple cores, pizza crust, cat food and spam. Then drink two bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 and or Thunderbird. As soon as all items have been consumed, start eating your girlfriends vagina until you vomit inside of her vagina.
Albert caught his girlfriend cheating and decided he would clean out her whore pussy with a Hobo Douche.
by Fudgie Mcgee December 4, 2011
mugGet the Hobo Douchemug.

Organic Douche

One person who constantly bitches about the benefits and moral obligation of eating organic food, even at the risk of losing their friends.
Friendly Dude: "Hey, wanna come over for dinner? My new chicken recipe is just awesome!"
Organic Douche: "No, sorry, I never eat non-organic food."
Friendly Dude: "Didn't you eat at McDonald's just yesterday?"
Organic Douche: Yeah, but just because I didn't have time to cook."
by FrankNoWar January 20, 2014
mugGet the Organic Douchemug.

Douche-bruise

Noun: Injury sustained from excessive douche exposure

Adjective: The quality of being massively douchey
"I ended up talking for a half hour to some guy with too much hair gel and a screen-printed dress shirt. I have a nasty douche-bruise."

"David? Total Douchebruise."
by IDidItFirst! October 16, 2011
mugGet the Douche-bruisemug.

Douche Wag

Someone who is a douche bag but has swag
by Elmo Swag July 3, 2011
mugGet the Douche Wagmug.

shit-douche

1. A terrible image to be used in place of a worse one.

2. A placeholder to be used rather than the actual name of a person you do not want to identify.

Used both to insult, and to prevent the target from gaining attention or free publicity.
1. From now on instead of saying the name of a terrorist or mass shooter we will refer to them as some shit-douche.

2. President-Elect Shit-Douche and President Shit-Douche of Russia met today to discuss how best to destroy the world.

3. Publisher Simon and Schuster has decided to give some shit-douche a book deal.

4. The year in which this was coined was a total shit-douche.
by flashwildecard December 31, 2016
mugGet the shit-douchemug.

Douche Wanderer

A Douche wanderer, or conversely stated, a wandering douche, is a specific type of d-bag that interjects to make a snide douchy comment that's most likely malicious, and, most importantly, this douche is often a complete stranger or not engrossed in the conversation.
I was skating yesterday and not landing many tricks when a douche wanderer approached me and remarked "nice moves" then walked away snidely laughing aloud.
by Ridiculon May 31, 2009
mugGet the Douche Wanderermug.

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