Double wank and shit chips

To say something has gone badly/is going to have negative consequences.

First coined by Glenn Cullen on The Thick of it.

'Thats double wank and shit chips.'

by tombigglestone1 February 19, 2009

cheeky belgian giggle wank

A belgian tradition of wanking and giggling at the same time because pornhub is just that hilarious

why is mark laughing alone in his room?
Because hes having a cheeky belgian giggle wank.

by sexygordon November 24, 2011

George Michael Danger Wank

The act of having a wank in a public toilet with the door unlocked and your feet raised from the ground so no-one outside can see the cubicle is occupied.

The lady from the 1st floor got a nasty suprise when she opened the door to Greg having a George Michael Danger Wank!

by OwenFrankland January 23, 2008

Ding dong danger wank

The act of danger wanking while ding dong ditching someones house. The wanker must ring the doorbell, and then successfully masturbate before they can run away. All before the person answers the door.

-Dude, Jim totally ding dong danger wanked Kathleen's house last night.
-Niiice, did he get away?
-Yeah, hes a pro at it.

by Ultra Super Supreme King Dick November 6, 2011

mass tit wank

When u masturbate to tits in sex.

i want tomass tit wank

by salamander May 18, 2006

smokey chokey bum wank

also known as the mike R.A.E. special. it is exactly what it says on the tin. u will need a friend for this one. smoke a tabby, get your friend to choke you, poke your ass and toss yourself off. if you have no mates you could choke yourself with a rope.

sergeant man tits gave me the best smokey chokey bum wank of my life. he is so strong but his hands were so soft

by ring sting king August 1, 2009

finger bum wank (FBW)

insertion of a finger into the anus whilst "jackin it"

"jeff likes to finger bum wank (FBW) with himself"

by lazycouchpotato7 July 30, 2008