perm pressed

Boy who is stiff in bed. Brings the right amount of heat to keep the fibers intact. Freak in the sheets, but only after he has asked for permission. Rehearses answers to potential questions parents will ask. Likes a firm mattress. Would prefer beer in a glass. Travels with hand sanitizer. Brings girlfriend lunch at work. Law-abiding. Always puts the toilet seat down. Would never wear a sleeveless shirt to the gym. Not to be confused with pretentious. Strengths: reliable, trustworthy. Weaknesses: hates spontaneity.

Synonyms include: polished, rehearsed, robotic, scholarly

Antonyms: fuck boy, granola, sloppy
Because Benjamin was so perm pressed, he was excited to share all his new experiences with his friends, parents, and parents' friends when he returned home from his job in Washington D.C.
by permpress January 21, 2019
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The Boston Press

The act of pressing your bare butt cheeks against the inside of a car window while traveling down the road catching unsuspecting drivers off guard.
As we passed the family in the blue sedan, Parker pulled down his trousers and gave them The Boston Press.
by Mogob Knuckle-Dragger December 17, 2009
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Lizard press

A lizard press is to, press your penis against a window preferably a car window to give the affect of a squashed lizard
Hey I just lizard pressed Clarkie as he was waiting at the lights
by UncleNinz December 13, 2018
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fish press

to press ones bare vagina against something. i.e. faces, objects

synonyms: taco press, tea vag
diane passed out and all the girls fish pressed her.
by jonny shingas September 09, 2010
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snail press

When a male forcefully pushes his genitalia onto a wet window, in full view of others.
by bribri October 27, 2003
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press ham

To "moon" or show your bare ass to someone while pressing the ass up against glass.
Jamie decided he was going to press ham on the window at the local Mc Donald's and all the cheerleaders screamed.
by Eddie Bell May 27, 2008
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pennsylvania press

the act of pooping from ones anus directly into another persons anus
this pennsylvania press has given my anus quite the sore
by Ted May 04, 2004
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