A “ Granola” can be described as a Vegan, Organic, Non-GMO, BPA-Free, Grass Fed, Grass Finished, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Lemon Wedge Deodorant wearing overly environmentally friendly non-hippy-but-also-a-hippy-at-the-same time stereotype (Think hippy minus the drugs and the tie dye.) Granolas often smell like curry and likely live in an off-the-grid tiny house in the middle of some field they probably don’t actually own. In said tiny houses in an effort to save the climate, they likely redirect their “all natural toilet waste” from their glorified port-a-potty into their veggie compost to later use as “natural” fertilizer. Granolas often dress in an outdoorsy fashion that also resembles that of a well dressed hobo. It is not uncommon to identify a Granola wearing Birkenstocks, Athletic Shorts, Camel Back backpacks, North Face Jackets, and more regardless of whether or not they take frequent hikes. Granolas may also be seen driving a Subaru Outback with several decals on the back windshield that often refer to climate change and world peace.
I love Jan but after her month long getaway in the deep woods of the Rocky Mountains, she turned into a total granola!
by NoboHobo January 19, 2022
Get the Granolamug. A granola-bar is used to make friendships with any and all C2s. Just make sure you keep bringing granola bars with you (as many as you can), and don't think that fruit-snacks can be used as a permanent substitute.
C2: Now, I brought you all here because you have been giving me fruit snacks instead of granola-bars.
Persons 5, 6 and 8: We thought that fruitsnacks were ok to be used.
C2: NO! Now, you better all have granola-bars
Persons 5, 6 and 8:
Persons 5, 6 and 8: We thought that fruitsnacks were ok to be used.
C2: NO! Now, you better all have granola-bars
Persons 5, 6 and 8:
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 14, 2021
Get the Granola-barmug. A person who dresses like a camp counselor, lives in Denver, Colorado, or dresses suspiciously close to Dora the Explorer.
by sugarglider333 August 15, 2025
Get the Granola Crayolamug. Overly environmentally-conscious hippie. Usually with a beard. Tend to be liberals, or even communists if extreme.
Guy 1: Why is Jim's cupboard full of empty coke bottles?
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker
by Nygma February 4, 2015
Get the granola smokermug. A granola-bar is a device that is used to create friendships with C2s. Creating what is known as the C2's granola-bar effect.
C2: You forgot to bring a granola-bar today?
Person 8888: sorry, I forgot.
C2: It's ok.
Person 8888: Really?
C2: Sure... So long as you bring me 2 granola-bars tomorrow!
Person 8888: sorry, I forgot.
C2: It's ok.
Person 8888: Really?
C2: Sure... So long as you bring me 2 granola-bars tomorrow!
by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021
Get the Granola-Barmug. by IhopeIdrinkwater April 28, 2022
Get the granola bar baba grillmug. One of the most mysterious aliases of the culprit and war criminal, 'Joe Willy'.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola said he was going to build a Dyson sphere and blot out the sun, "You bitches need less light and my basement doesn't have enough space. I'm going to build I Dyson sphere once I kill the Russian president." to be specific. The number of people in his basement are unknown, and the location of his basement is also unknown. Noah Granola is a fucking bitch and burned down 3 native campsites in the past month.
Noah Granola is an insane egotistical maniac who wants to kill the Russian president.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
Don't be a Noah Granola.
by Joe_Willy July 31, 2023
Get the Noah Granolamug.