closed text

when you text somebody and they reply back with lol, haha, or yeah leaving you confused on what to say back and killing your conversation

guy 1: i told her about the kid getting shoved in the locker and she just replyed back lol
guy 2: ouch what'd you say back?
guy 1: nothing! it was a closed text what could i say!

by Carlos Mendez-Valdez June 6, 2009

closed casket

a funeral where the casket is closed, most likely because the body is so brutaly fucked up that it would be to unbearable to see the body in such fucked up condition

juan: damn that ese julio's death was some fucked up shit holmes
jose: i know este guey got slashed up in his face and shit.. his whole face and shit is looking fucked up and shit
juan: yep.. his funeral will be closed casket
jose: yep R.I.P. ese julio
maria: damn im fuckin horny will u guys bust a nut in my big ass tities?
juan: damn your fucked up chica! your husband just died! arent u sad?
jose: i'll do it fuck that shit!

by esteguey October 31, 2007

out of the closet

(adjective) not hiding your sexual orientation or secret.

He decided to come out of the closet.

by Fangsta March 18, 2003

Danger Close

In close air support, artillery, mortar, and naval gunfire support fires, it is the term included in the method of engagement segment of a call for fire which indicates that friendly forces are within close proximity of the target, usually 600 metres however The close proximity distance can be determined by the weapon and munition fired.

"steelrain, steelrain, this is Hitman calling in fire mission, popeye uniform 059 098 038 degrees 200 metres, danger close"

"roger that hitman, splash in 5 seconds"

by CaptainIncredible June 15, 2009

closet fatty

A thin person who exhibits traits that are normally found exclusively in fatties, however due to compulsive exercise or a fast metabolic system is not one him/herself.

Such traits include but are not limited to:

Eating like there's no tomorrow
Sucking dick/pussy better than a Hoover
Fucking for validation
Wearing party hats

Matt eats 6 supersized junk food meals a day, he is such a closet fatty.

by Lewis5D January 11, 2009

close encounter of the turd kind

1. Having a negative experience with a douchebag of a person.

2. When you step on dog poop.

3. When a monkey flings his poop and *wham! splat* catches you.

4. Any doo-related major life experience

"Whooooaaa, dude, I heard you and Ryan yelling at each other all night!" "Yeah, it was a close encounter of the turd kind."

"Hey, why are you dragging your foot and what's that smell?" "Close encounter of the turd kind."

"Damn you evil little monkey, did not expect that close encounter of the turd kind!"

"Shane and I had a close encounter of the turd kind."

by mindenoodle February 11, 2010

Closet Heterosexual

A straight man/woman who pretends to be gay with the hope of sleeping with a member of the opposite sex, playing on the possible fantasy of "converting" them.

Girl: How do you know you don't like women if you've never slept with one?
"Gay" Guy: I don't know. I never really thought about it.
Girl: We should totally fuck.
"Gay" Guy: Well... I guess I could *try* it, sure. ;)
*30 minutes later*...
"Gay" Guy: Yeah so, I'm actually a closet heterosexual and just wanted to get in your pants.

by Burnt Coffee October 31, 2008