Calm your goats

To tell a person to calm down or to relax.

Jeff said calm your goats to Martha when she was starting to get mad.

by Toeatcake May 21, 2019

Calm your tots

What you say when someone needs to chill out! Calm your tots!

She needs to calm your tots!!

by Bunifer April 19, 2018

calm your bird

Pet birds are loud, obnoxious animals that never shut the fuck up and that seriously harsh the vibe of any social gathering with their screeching orations. You'd be pissed too if you knew how to fly but were stuck in a cage.

Calm your bird means stop freaking out like a caged bird and harshing the vibe. Either shut the fuck up, or go be free elsewhere.

Joe: "MAN DO YOU SEE THAT GUY? I THINK HE LOOKED AT ME MAN. I THINK HE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING. I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM. I'M GONNA PUT MY FIST RIGHT UP HIS ASS!"

Cool Pete: "Joe. JOE. You're high on acid and cocaine and you saw yourself in the mirror. Calm your bird."

by LicensesToStone May 24, 2016

calm yo grits

A hermit crab version of calm yo tits
Used by protective parents. Some kids never grow out of it.

Person1: I hate you!
Person2: Whoa! Calm yo grits.
Person1: Wth does that mean!?
Person2: Calm down, my mom said it was a common saying...

by Parkderp1 October 9, 2016

calm your spirit

Nicest way to tell your gf/bf to shut the FUCK up.

Derrick always tells Esther to calm your spirit when she won't leave things alone. Wes

by Mz.Wonderful February 11, 2018

damage my calm

You’re making someone mad. Said by Jayne in Serenity, the cinematic finale to the criminally underrated and short lived series Firefly.

That ruttin’ girl is beginning to damage my calm

by KnightofNerdom February 21, 2020

calm your mom

an expression basically saying to "calm down" but in a more jokingly insulting manner, including the phrase "your mom". If someone says something really dramatically, that you can say "your mom" to, you can basically say "calm your mom".

Girl: "OMG that spider is UGLY."
Me: "Dude, CALM YOUR MOM."

by calmyourmom101 January 20, 2013