Captain Kidde

Da infamous Scottish pirate-leader who made his fortune by setting fire to conquered ships and then extorting them for huge sums to bribe him to extinguish da flames.
I dunno if those puny wine-bottle-sized fire-extinguishers would be all dat effective on huge clippers or schooners dat were engulfed in flames --- Captain Kidde might have had to switch to da larger "Adultte" brand of extinguisher to properly put out said towering infernos.
by QuacksO0 May 30, 2025
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captain crackhead

Noun: A term for one who is wearing a zip-down hoodie with the zip open completely by only the hood on their head (very often notably with no shirt), leaving the arm flaps and the rest of the hoodie to hang behind them as pseudo tribal decoration. Often associated with individuals in this attire performing wildcard stunts and impromptu executive decisions

Verb: To assume the form as described in the noun and perform crackhead and crackhead-esque actions with urgency
Never get in a swamp fight with a captain crackhead - noun
If you don't give me my 25 cents back as a quarter I will captain crackhead this elf on the shelf - verb
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Captain Jacked

This is when a person introduces a conversational topic with others only to have a conversational pirate hijack the topic leaving the person marooned on a conversational island. Smoke signaled by, "What were we talking about?" "How did we get on this topic?" or "Oh..." if they even remember said person was talking.
Amy: I really love that song by...
Owen: I was in choir in College. I think we sang that song!
Blake: Bro, I didn't know you could sing? *sarcasm* Do you ever stop?
Owen: Did I tell you about my solo senior year? It was cray.

Amy was Captain Jacked.
by Lovsatellite July 19, 2018
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Captain Falcon

A muscular guy who once had his own game series is now a smash bros legend who is only known for smash bros now. He is like the second fastest and the number one coolest ever. He is at the level of a god and maybe more.
Captain Falcon will fucking falcon punch your face till you die
by GOKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU September 21, 2018
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Phone captain

Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.

Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.
George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?

Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".

George: What's a phone captain?

Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!
by Fair Care - Care Fair :) October 13, 2016
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Captain Warpspeed

45th president of the United States and WEF stooge, Donald Trump. Named so due to Operation Warpspeed.
"WAKAWOOGA MAGAMOOGA TRUST THE PLAN! DVRK MVGV TRVMP!"
"You're still on the TrumpTrain after Captain Warpspeed has done jackshit to help Julian Assange?"
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Captain

A Man just trying to do his job but is unfortunately surrounded by immature, childish men of similar age that are nothing but lazy liars.
So I guess you have to be captain again tonight because those useless wankers are on.
by Just4thesake April 21, 2022
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