Relection Erection

When someone gets relected into the office and gets a boner a the same time.

When bush swore in the office he turned around and got a relection erection.

by Arocka7 April 3, 2009

Expecto Erectus

A spell in which you put on a guy, and his penis gets erected, unless you are fat.

Tyrone: Yo bitch! I'm gonna knock dat tit right ndown to da core!

Yopani: Expecto Erectus!
Tyrone: Aw shit man! What da hell did you do dat? Fuckin bonars...
Yopani: You asked fo it man.
Tyrone: go down man! go down! I aint ready!

by IBEREAL! May 31, 2011

Plentymaximum Erectus

1. A male syndrome derived from using massive amounts of male enhancement drugs while watching porn movies.
2. Any massive dosage of male enhancement drugs over a period of 24 hours.

At first the doctors thought it might be Plentymaximum Erectus or a Viagra Virus which locked up his hard drive.

by keithmorin July 24, 2011

herbus erectus

A very horn dinosaur looking for sex with females

Sir one dinosaur was a herbus erectus

by Thomas jordan December 17, 2014

neuro-erectiledysfunction

The inability of your brain to translate the desire to "get it on" into the muscular activation of doing so. It fails to excite the antigravity muscles, such as the gastrocsoleus, levator scapula, and the penis.

My buddy had his mojo stolen by his girlfriend, now he's got neuro-erectiledysfunction.

by Neuro-geekus January 16, 2016

Orphan Erection

When you get hard but you can't do anything about it, and it dies, alone and unloved.

I was at church and I popped a orphan erection, hopefully it goes to heaven with the rest of the unwanted and unloved .

by Ess_Nelek April 16, 2016

Hebus Erectus

A Jew(Hebrew) who has been contracted by a goy to assemble Christmas gifts that do not come prefabricated. Though the Gentile client, usually an affluent father, has the competency to construct said gifts for his children on Christmas morn, he is often too hung over from the previous night’s eggnog consumption to have the patience and/or focus to follow the complex instructions. This is where the Semite comes into play. Because of the unimportance of the Christian holiday to the Judeo-contractor, he is available, clear-headed, and willing to work for a reasonable price. Well, reasonable according to his people’s standards. I mean, if you wanted to find a Jewish tradesman that didn’t gouge the goyim, you’d have to build a time machine and travel back to Jesus times. Anyway, Adam Carolla coined it on January 4, 2016 on the "Adam Carolla Show."

Crafty Jews Inc. employee: Crafty Jews, let us work while you snooze.

Adam: Hi, I’m Adam Carolla. I saw your ad in the “Rich Whitey Gazette.”

CJ employee: Yes, how may I help you, sir?

Adam: Well I’d like to hire someone to put up a zipline in my backyard for my 9-year-old daughter? Now your Jews, are they mechanically inclined?

CJ employee: Sir, all our guys are Hebus Erectus Certified. We import the finest laborers from Israel.

Adam: That’s good. ‘Cause the last thing I need is one of those domesticated, Woody Allen-type Jews coming over here.

CJ employee: Sir, I can assure you, we would never send a Woody Allen-type Jew where there are prepubescent girls. We will send the most blue-collared, salt of the Earth Jew we can find. Think Bruce Springsteen.

Adam: Well you know, he’s not Jewish. You guys always claim him as one of your own but…uh

CJ employee: Ok, well we’ve got one that looks like Eli Roth.

Adam: Jesus, I want a zipline put up, not my children to be beaten to death with a baseball bat.

CJ employee: Ok, ok. Hmm, well you bring up baseball? We have a guy built like Sandy Koufax, smart as Einstein.

Adam: That’s my guy. Send him over, Christmas morn at 8.

CJ employee: Will do Mr. Carolla. Thank you for choosing us for your Hebus Erectus needs.

Adam: Well you are the Chosen people.

CJ employee: Ha, you sure you’re not a Jew?

Adam: To be honest, I’ve got two Jews here passing me jokes on Post-Its. They’re part of your Hebus Punch-up-us line.

carolla

by griffin_t_a April 20, 2016