Window wank of faith

The act of jerking off outside a window whilst crying as the person commiting the act has come to terms with the fact that they are a pathetic welp of person who looks up vaguely sexual terms on Urban Dictionary to get a hard on, only to quickly be struck with the epiphany that they are wasting the precious life they have been endowed with, and the person you could have been has been burnt into nothingness by your abhorrent choices in life, and you are just the abysmal shell of what could have been a potentially good human being.

my name jeff

also, stop looking up shit like window wank of faith and do something productive for once you cognitively inept mongrel.

by GetPrankedFaggo April 3, 2017

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

Wank team 6

When you are sleeping next to a loves one and you need to run one out, you roll over to one side and masturbate undetected.

Oh man, last night I had to sleep with me mum. I had to call in Wank team 6 and everything.

by Dyank MeyMeys December 21, 2016

utter wank stain

The worst sort of cunt. Someone who acts like a dick all the time.

That guy rick is an utter wank stain.

by Sheggles2point0 April 22, 2018

International Wank Day

The day of December 1st, following the month of No Nut November, where every male is encouraged to masturbate, to relieve the testicular tension of the previous month.

Person 1: Bro can you come to the game tomorrow.
Person 2: Nah sorry bro it’s International Wank Day.
Person 1: Damn bro why didn’t you remind me?

by Bongonog November 11, 2019

Jaws-Mode Wank

A niche practice where a man will bite off his own penis for sexual gratification while imagining a drunken Robert Shaw singing.

Sky News now apologising for language in Dominic Cummings message accusing Boris Johnson of 'Jaws-mode wank'

by Humphrey the Cat October 31, 2023

Winnie the Pooh wank

The act of masturbating, while only wearing a tshirt, and being totally naked from the waste down. Made famous by Winnie The Pooh who never wore bottoms.

I had a Winnie The Pooh wank last night, tshirt on and nothing else.

by RichieBigTits December 14, 2022