Isaac Newton Wank

The act of wanking upside down for the objective of giving yourself a facial. The jizz acts like the Apple falling from the tree, gravity takes it course and hits the participant in the cranial area.

I had an Isaac Newton wank last night, glazed myself like a doughnut

by McLoopster August 20, 2018

Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021

Wanking my Willy

a male masturbating

"I'm wanking my willy to your moms big tits"

by cumshotter June 27, 2022

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

wank n shank

When you shank someone right after you rape them. Commonly used in prison situations.

Inmate 1: Did you hear about inmate 3?
Inmate 2: No, what happened?
Inmate 1: He attempted to do the ol' wank n shank

by that_one_guy1 June 2, 2016

Window wank of faith

The act of jerking off outside a window whilst crying as the person commiting the act has come to terms with the fact that they are a pathetic welp of person who looks up vaguely sexual terms on Urban Dictionary to get a hard on, only to quickly be struck with the epiphany that they are wasting the precious life they have been endowed with, and the person you could have been has been burnt into nothingness by your abhorrent choices in life, and you are just the abysmal shell of what could have been a potentially good human being.

my name jeff

also, stop looking up shit like window wank of faith and do something productive for once you cognitively inept mongrel.

by GetPrankedFaggo April 3, 2017

stank n' wank

When you plop on the porcelain throne and simultaneously shit and masturbate into the same pot. To conserve water? To be efficient? Hell if I know. Intent and order of operations do not matter. If there's fudge and gravy in the bowl, you just had a stank n' wank.

My last bowel movement got me going so I decided to have a stank n' wank instead.

Went to the latrine to pleasure myself, and was there so long I decided to stank n' wank to save myself another trip.

by CreditToStefan December 7, 2016