Jesus card

A card in a trading card game that can turn the tide of the game when topdecked.
examples:
pokemon-professor oak, good manners
yugioh- soul charge, raigeki

"i was totally about to win but then he pulled some fucking jesus card, demolished my board, and attacked for game."

by DreadCommander June 4, 2017

Light of Jesus

When a player in Halo 2 or Halo 3 tricks a player to get close to him or her, and then throws a sticky grenade right onto the face of the player. This will make the view of the opposing player all bright from the light of the grenade. While throwing the grenade the player says "Light of Jesus" and then runs away.

I just Light of Jesus'ed that guy.

I am going to Light of Jesus this next player right in the face.

by squirrelfarmer38235 June 8, 2009

Jesus-kun

The hottest discord user. AKA jesus-kun#1105

Jesus-kun is bae!!!

by spoopi November 19, 2020

Don't Be Jesus

A phrase, mostly used by friends and concerned lovers, to express a feeling of unease over one's current path of action, on the intuition that this path may lead to a violent end, sometimes but not exclusively by crucificationism.

Also can refer to acute messianic megalomania

Guy 1: Dude, I'm totally gonna go piss off those Roman soldiers by pretending to be the Messiah!
Guy 2: Don't be Jesus, man.

Guy 3: I CAN HEAL THE BLIND!!!1!
Guy 4: Whoa whoa, don't be Jesus now.

by Tepea March 15, 2011

Dick Jesus

A man who believes his penis is God's gift to the world, but he does not know how to use it properly. A man who does not know how to please women sexually.

This term originated in 2018 when a group of women were describing very disappointing sexual encounters with men.

Monica: "I heard you got lucky with Trevor last night!"
Kate: "... we had sex..."
Sara: "Why the longface? I heard he was well endowed!"
Kate: "ya... but he's a total Dick Jesus"
Monica: "eew! Dick Jesus men are the WORST!"
Sara: "I don't care how beautiful his penis is, if he's a Dick Jesus, I'm not gonna waste my time."

by Ovary Actor October 20, 2018

Jesus Butter

Butter made from female human breast milk mixed with tea leaves for a smell that would delight the GODS

Would you like some Jesus Butter to go with that toast?

by Clubs February 17, 2013

Smokable Jesus

Another name for marijuana. Aka: Pot, ganja, weed, etc.

Stoner #1: Dude, did you get some of that smokable Jesus?

Stoner #2: Yeah, dude! Let's get fucking ripped off our asses!

by Jebus of America April 13, 2009