The myth, the man, the coffee-powered machine that somehow stays tired. Tony El Chong Cuey is the guy who drinks triple espressos for breakfast, and still yawns through life like he's been on a 72-hour bender in Vegas. Despite caffeine having zero effect on him, he remains loyal to coffee because it's not about the energy-it's about the grind.
El Chong Cuey is fearless... except when it comes to one thing: Kaydin Blaeser, the mysterious Polish man who lives rent-free in Tony's mind. Nobody knows what Kaydin did, but the mention of his name makes Tony sweat harder than in a sauna
Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing to get through the day. You drink coffee to wake up, he wakes up to drink coffee.
El Chong Cuey is fearless... except when it comes to one thing: Kaydin Blaeser, the mysterious Polish man who lives rent-free in Tony's mind. Nobody knows what Kaydin did, but the mention of his name makes Tony sweat harder than in a sauna
Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing to get through the day. You drink coffee to wake up, he wakes up to drink coffee.
Man I wish I could be more like Tony El Chong-
Dude I stayed in my bed doomscrolling for hours! I pulled a Tony El Chong Cuey
Dude I stayed in my bed doomscrolling for hours! I pulled a Tony El Chong Cuey
by Caffeine Crusher January 10, 2025
Get the Tony El Chong Cueymug. commonly known as futile, and ancient Egyptian microbe that has evolved in a way to penetrate digital systems. It can be seen online in steam for hours and lays dormant for sometime until prey appear in order to latch on to them. It is able to send false thoughts as a way to delude it's host into thinking it's a good microbe that "supports" it's hosts, but actually slowly degrades their physical and mental health. Can be seen using support as a way to mooch off nutrients of it's hosts. When discovered will deny everything that has been seen by multiple people. It is allergic to Russians and seem to be offended by their existence.
he evolved into a el-futile
by voredor February 18, 2024
Get the el-futilemug. Comadre, no me lo va a creer… pues dicen que Maria, ya dió el mal paso… tan seria que se veía. Dicen que hasta está embarazada.
by MexicanCanCan May 16, 2021
Get the el mal pasomug. Chief of Operations who occasionally partakes in fucknuterie, but friends generally allow it due to his blatant disregard for other's response to his thrusts of homosexuality, which he imposes on most any "next man".
Son: Mother what is that guy doing to "next man"
Mother: Son don't point! You don't El Souch to violate your bum.
Mother: Son don't point! You don't El Souch to violate your bum.
by kimo26 February 11, 2024
Get the El Souchmug. 
Get the Elmug. A sex position, basically like doggy style but with the giving part hanging freely, holding on to a bar or branch.
Not the most rewarding but rather a fun physically challenging erotic experience.
Not the most rewarding but rather a fun physically challenging erotic experience.
by Frauenmissversteher98 July 8, 2018
Get the El Golziomug. by Dr tippydick July 21, 2022
Get the El captain penis wrinklemug.