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I'm the schmuck who forgot that "anything goes" when I gave the lost Ark to "top men". 

It belongs in a museum!
Yes, Dad --- I admit that I'm the schmuck who forgot that "anything goes" when I gave the lost Ark to "top men". Yeah, yeah --- just like I stupidly let your Grail diary fall into the hands of the Nazis! Don't call me "Junior".

now, the badger goes silent 

A common saying when texting where when someone is pointed out on some outlandish statement or action, or when a good point is made, after which the person goes silent.
Friend 1: I'm telling you, I'm not a vampire!
Friend 2: You screamed when I threw water from a church on you...
Friend 1: That was just a reflex! Anyone would scream if cold water was unexpectedly thrown on them!
Friend 2: *silence*
Friend 1: Now, the badger goes silent

Bend over and touch your toes i'll show you where my monster goes 

this is when someone want to get freaky with you gay or not you better get ready.
"Bend over and touch your toes i'll show you where my MONSTER goes.."
"no?"
"too late."