Table Boss

A Hawaiian spearfishing nickname for the Tarry Hogfish or Aka 'a'awa. Named so because it is so foul to eat that it inevitably rules the dinner table untouched at the end of the meal. It has come to refer to the "last choice" in any category.

Example 1: "Did you smell my wife's casserole? That will be table boss for sure."
Example 2: "That poor kid will never get a girl to dance with him. He's total table boss."

by Keem the Dream August 18, 2022

table bling

When your table is so crowded with vertical menus, little easels, spiral bound displays, plastic-encased specials, elaborate comdiments containers, napkin dispensers, floral displays, cardboard food advertisements, and crayons that you have barely any room on the tabletop before the food is even served - that's when you're suffering from table bling.

You go into a restaurant. Not the really nice kind, maybe, but not the kind with the arches on the roof. Your average chain restaurant. And you're sitting there with your friends. There are a lot of you around the table, and even before the wait staff brings you anything, you're already crowded. Why? Because there are all these *things* on the table. Vertical menu things and easel-based drink things and spiral bound dessert things and plastic encased specials things and an elaborate container with condiments in it plus some kind of fake floral thing and another brightly colored cardboard thing sticking out of a vase or carafe or whatever the heck it is and it's all garnished with a side of crayons (you're all adults out on business lunch and there are no kids whatsoever in the place). Table bling is gaudy, not worth the expense, and obnoxious... kind of like regular bling.

by Bonney Armstrong January 9, 2009

Table Whine

Incessant unnecessary complaints offered by your companions whilst you are dining out. Table whines usually occur more frequently after your friends and colleagues have partaken in table wine.

YOU: "I'm hungry, where is the food? What's up with this place???"
ME: "I'm sure we can ask for more bread to go with your table whine."
YOU: "I'm sorry, I'm just a little drunk off of the table wine."

by reallypedantic June 6, 2010

table general

The person who directs the movement, placement, and direction of food at the dinner table, particularly at a large meal or gathering. This can be achieved by democracy, but is more typically dictated by strength of character and who has the best spatial relations... or just the most experience with food.

"We were overwhelmed by the amount of food on the table for the 12-person Christmas dinner. Luckily Grandpa was an efficient table general.

by President Warren G. Harding December 28, 2010

Table Captain

Person that sits on the small side of the table at a restaurant and orders for everyone.

On a 4 x 8 table for 7 the person that sits on the 4 foot side is the table captain

by Blood Spartan July 20, 2007

table booty

Ass of such a size that it is suitable for use as one would use a table. While female is standing, ass in question must provide stable surface to place a can of beer .

"goddamn.....bitch gotta table booty"

by Aloysius Waukau August 25, 2006

table nine

The state of being unpartnered and wanting to be partnered. From the movie "The Wedding Singer"

"Table nine sucks major sword, especially around valentine's

by Sparkina1967 June 16, 2004