Hillbilly Bidet

Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.

Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.

by Poop Geyser June 28, 2011

J-bedes

When someone lives like a pig and is on the fast track for Type 2 diabetes.

That guy needs to exercise, he can't keep living like J-bedes.

by Iggypop December 22, 2013

American Bidet

The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.

Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.

by Mjku December 22, 2014

country bidet

A bowel movement so intense in velocity that water from the toilet bowl splashes the genitals and anal cavity.

I hate it when I shit so hard that I get a country bidet.

by Geezity June 17, 2016

trashy bidet

When you take a shit so big and dense that the toilet water splashes up onto your ass hole.

Dude, I took a shit so big I got a trashy bidet.

by Bidet boss October 12, 2017

american bidet

Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.

My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.

by Khalfani Lisimba April 19, 2018

Ghetto bidet

when your taking a big shit, and it hits the toilet water and then, the water splashes your a-hole. (Just like a kid cannonballing into the pool)

Dude I just gave myself a ghetto bidet

by _cpek December 8, 2017