two shits to a candlestick

to not know anything about anything

to "not hold two shits to a candlestick" is to think you know something but really know nothing

Dan: did you hear caleb's thoughts on obama care?
Emma: yeah, but the tool can't hold two shits to a candlestick when it comes to the goverment

by secretpumpkinking March 25, 2014

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shitting my pants

Turning up in overwatch and absolutely popping off for the boys

*Jasper getting a quadruple kill*
“I am shitting my pants right now, I AM SHITTING MY PANTS!!”

by Pasty C April 09, 2019

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The fattest, most bloated piece of shit anyone has ever seen

That is why you're doing it.

Hym "Seriously. The fattest, most bloated piece of shit anyone has ever seen. It isn't even the fat, though, is the crazy part. It's the bloatedness. You look inflatable. If you asked any women... Who she would rather be locked in a room with for 7 days... Showed her a picture of both of us... You could tell her WHO I AM... Full context... And she would STILL choose me over you. You look like you can feel your skeleton floating around in your... I mean- You can't even call it a body. It just IS fat. I could work out. I could get in shape. But no matter what I did, I could never get that distribution of fat on my body. That's it. That's the reason."

by Hym Iam January 16, 2024

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