laundry wood

when you do laundry in the morning naked and get an erection

“i found a pen in the dryer and got stuck reaching in to get it because of my laundry wood. i called a neighbor to ask for help. they gave me a handjob, and my cum helped me slip out”

by cosmicdreams August 10, 2022

polishing wood

Masturbating with such a volicity that the penis has a shine afterwards

The young electrician, when not frequenting glory holes, spent his time polishing wood with glee!

by Angry Stockholder July 17, 2019

Drift wood

When a penis is so long that it tries to float towards the top when its under water.

Guy: "Hey man you are having some drift wood right now."
Guy 2: "Yeah that happens whenever im in a pool. Just ignore it."

by Drift-wood December 24, 2018

Chris Wood

Chris wood is amazing. He’s humble and kind. He’s funny and incredibly passionate about his roles and campaign. He made a movie called the stew. He’s known for playing Brandon North on Major Crimes , he was on Carrie Diaries as Adam Weaver, he was on Vampire Diaries as Kai Parker , on SuperGirl as Mon-El prince of daxam( he was goofy and intelligent), on Legacies he played Kai Parker, and his most recent role Masters of the universes hes playing Prince Adam/ He-man as a voice actor. ( he has way more roles but these are ones people have seen him more as) Chris wood is awesome dude, he also cares for other people. He made idontmind in 2017. Idontmind is a mental health awareness campaign made by Chris Wood and his Co-founder Edward Schmit. He’s comedic and obviously caring. I simp-ly love him.

“Chris wood is hot and I’m jealous.”

by Melwood is very adorable. November 18, 2020

Whopping Wood

a game in which a male hits you over the head with his erect genitalia. it must be over 6 inches. bonus points if the act takes place in the woods. if the guy finishes he loses and if the girl passes out she loses.

i literally had to take her to the hospital. she lost whopping wood in like 5 minutes.
OR
he lost whopping wood on his 3rd hit. he is nothing compared to me.

by ponyspank69 July 9, 2021

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

The other example was wrong so I fixed it.

" How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? " "Well my friend, a woodchuck would chuck all the wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

by sgt.failure July 28, 2021

Sometimes you got to live in the woods

It’s when life can throw some hard punches at you and you have to learn how to evade, get back up, and evolve in order to survive the next threat that comes into your life.

John: Dude I lost my job last month and it made my life a living hell and that’s what made me become an entrepreneur.

Dave: Bro “sometimes you got to live in the woods”

John: Dude that’s so true and I’m stronger from it

by Coboricua March 7, 2021