Friend #1: "I put it all on red bro."
Friend #2: "What do you mean?"
Friend #1: "I asked my coworker out."
Friend #2: "What'd she say?"
Friend #1: "She hasn't opened my message yet. I'm starting to think this was a crack dream..."
Friend #2: "What do you mean?"
Friend #1: "I asked my coworker out."
Friend #2: "What'd she say?"
Friend #1: "She hasn't opened my message yet. I'm starting to think this was a crack dream..."
by The Rhino Hunter, Edgar October 24, 2024

Mom: Go do the damn dishes its been 3 hours
Child: Why do i have to listen to you?!
Mom: Well I put you in this world and I can take you right outta it
Child: Why do i have to listen to you?!
Mom: Well I put you in this world and I can take you right outta it
by isa6elita August 25, 2022

by Deafin January 27, 2021

It is when you see a sexy UP (University Police) officer and just think damnnn, I wouldn't mind if he put his penis in me.
I was walking one day to class and I just look to the side and see an absolute hunk of a UP officer, muscles and biceps bulging out of his uniform and I said he could Put the P in Me.
by Darrin Mccarty February 22, 2024

boy, in an argument with his father:
boy: dad, sorry, I'll skip dinner tonight and (...)
father: (...) finish your chemistry and physics projects you are working on with your girlfriend Melissa? That sure would be nice.
boy: kodem koll, dad, stop putting words in the horse's mouth, it's rude. And FYI it's actually Spanish and Latin homework I was going to work on. I'll work on the chemistry and physics later, and with my friend Brandon, not my girlfriend Melissa.
boy: dad, sorry, I'll skip dinner tonight and (...)
father: (...) finish your chemistry and physics projects you are working on with your girlfriend Melissa? That sure would be nice.
boy: kodem koll, dad, stop putting words in the horse's mouth, it's rude. And FYI it's actually Spanish and Latin homework I was going to work on. I'll work on the chemistry and physics later, and with my friend Brandon, not my girlfriend Melissa.
by Sexydimma April 9, 2013

by Freddyfriday June 12, 2025

sometimes it’s okay to be a bit selfish and there will be times over the next 12 months when you really must put your own interests first no matter what that might mean for other people. What you do for yourself will benefit them too later on
sometimes it’s okay to be a bit selfish and there will be times over the next 12 months when you really must put your own interests first no matter what that might mean for other people. What you do for yourself will benefit them too later on
by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 15, 2025
