Jesus Speaking

The art of Jesus speaking,talking to dead people through a microwave.

Frank : What are you going to do today?
Anthony : I'm going to do some Jesus speaking
Frank : Who will you talk to?
Anthony : Actually whoever replies lol.

by Zxkred June 22, 2018

Cabbage jesus

A overweight cunt who is full of life and loves to joke around with anyone. He loves to make friends and will even share his lunch with you. He will go out of his way for anyone!

Bro 1: did u just see that guy? he just gave the homeless family 100 dollars!
Bro 2: yeah! he always does that his name is cabbage jesus..
Bro 1: what a mad cunt we should meet him sometime..

Bro 2: hell yeah!

by Cabbage jesus May 12, 2019

Jesus Preschool

The stereotypical, faith-filled pre-elementary school that most small town children went to, typically held in a church basement. Includes cheese balls, prayer before snack, and 100 toddlers singing "Away in a Manger" for the yearly Christmas performance. Not limited to Protestant (Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.) and Catholic locations.

Oh my gosh, you went to Jesus Preschool? So did I! Did you say *insert rhyming prayer here*, too?!

by maybelatergater September 5, 2016

Black Jesus

No one less than Tupac.

In times of war we need somebody raw, rally the troops
like a Saint that we can trust to help to carry us through
Black Jesus Tupac

by FexilThaDon December 28, 2016

Jesus Nectar

Grand Marnier, an orange-flavored cognac-based liquer, 40% (80 proof). Labeled Jesus Nectar as it the only adult beverage suitable for Jesus. It has been foretold that if Jesus were to come back to earth, it would be to drink Grand Marnier and pop at bitches in the club parking lot.

Vincent: I need a drink. You need a drink? How about a fernet?

Jules: Fuck that noise, I only drink that Jesus Nectar.

by Nerdrow November 11, 2010

Jesus-Effect

The act of surrounding oneself' with glaringly less attractive individuals in order to deceptively increase oneself' ego/value.

That girl isn't that pretty dude, look at her friends, total Jesus-effect.

by AwesomeSaucePan December 6, 2019

Jesus math

When you mess up the order of operations, usually by trying to skip a step while dividing, and your calculator gives you a number that’s way higher than expected

When you divide 15 cookies between about 5 people and you end up with around 23 cookies, that’s Jesus math.

by Tylo Ren November 4, 2020