Jesus Speaking

The art of Jesus speaking,talking to dead people through a microwave.

Frank : What are you going to do today?
Anthony : I'm going to do some Jesus speaking
Frank : Who will you talk to?
Anthony : Actually whoever replies lol.

by Zxkred June 22, 2018

Black Jesus

No one less than Tupac.

In times of war we need somebody raw, rally the troops
like a Saint that we can trust to help to carry us through
Black Jesus Tupac

by FexilThaDon December 28, 2016

Undeveloped Jesus

when someone has a terribly unfortunate face.

Fuck. Matt Is an Undeveloped Jesus. He is so fugly.

by Bee749 November 21, 2021

#jesus boner

When you want to get up in there...but you are too wasted. You pray to Jesus to give you a massive boner.

"I'm tweeting Jesus for a #Jesus Boner. Please give me the strength to fuck the chick/dude."

by TheBonePolice January 9, 2019

Jesus Money

not actual currency, just hopes and prayers. When people pay you in Jesus money they dont actually pay you in money, they just pray for you.

If she pays us in Jesus Money I'll explode!!

by poopbutjazzfunk November 29, 2011

Jesus Preschool

The stereotypical, faith-filled pre-elementary school that most small town children went to, typically held in a church basement. Includes cheese balls, prayer before snack, and 100 toddlers singing "Away in a Manger" for the yearly Christmas performance. Not limited to Protestant (Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.) and Catholic locations.

Oh my gosh, you went to Jesus Preschool? So did I! Did you say *insert rhyming prayer here*, too?!

by maybelatergater September 5, 2016

Jesus hitler

The one extreme Mormon who yells at you when you swear or say any thing to do with Jesus or a God. This yelling can range from "STOP IT THAT IS AGAINST MY RELIGION AND YOU SHOULD NOT USE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN!!" to "IF YOU SWEAR OR SAY THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!"

"Oh my god Emily is such a Jesus hitler!" "HAY I HERD THAT NOW YOU ARE GOING TO HELL."

by op2014 November 13, 2014