Jesus Sand

The purest Molly/MDMA/Ecstasy on the market.

It is referred to as "Jesus Sand" because it is a powder that has a brownish-yellowish color to it and it makes you feel like the messiah.

Person 1: "We found a bag of this yellow powder infront of the Coachella entrance and we snorted a bump of it and we were rolling balls harder than we ever had before".

Person 2: "Yo! That's that JESUS SAND, the purist shit you can find on the market".

Person 2: "

by Tod1232 June 27, 2015

Jesus Preschool

The stereotypical, faith-filled pre-elementary school that most small town children went to, typically held in a church basement. Includes cheese balls, prayer before snack, and 100 toddlers singing "Away in a Manger" for the yearly Christmas performance. Not limited to Protestant (Methodist, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.) and Catholic locations.

Oh my gosh, you went to Jesus Preschool? So did I! Did you say *insert rhyming prayer here*, too?!

by maybelatergater September 5, 2016

jesus harambe

its hrambe in jesus form

HOLY JESUS HARAMBE

by HARAMBE_IS_ALIVE September 18, 2016

Meme jesus

Some weird looking fat ginger virgin who sells discord rolls for nudes and when he doesn't get them he gets quite upset and throws fits where he often ends up half asleep with a fist in his anus

That ginger cunt meme Jesus has 1.8million followers. Please tell me how that's possible

by Dogn't November 14, 2018

Jesus banger

A religious song or hymn, often sung as part of a primary school assembly.

Sing hosanna is a right Jesus banger.

by Lulublu November 24, 2018

jesus pinch

The part of a new can of dip that is already empty after being packed. It is said that this is the pinch Jesus took out for himself before you.

"Damn! The Jesus pinch is huge out of this Copenhagen can!"

by TheManCam July 12, 2017

Jesus Nuke

It's like a regular nuke, except it eradicates all sin within a 100 lightyear radius. It also destroys cringeworthy things like furry smut, cancer fandoms, etc. Also, when it explodes, Jesus comes out of the mushroom cloud.

Girl 1: Hey, have you heard of K-Pop?
Girl 2: OMG YASSS I LOVE K-POP!!!!!
Guy: DROP THE JESUS NUKE!
*Explosion punctuated with angelic choir music*

by guymanchester August 13, 2017